Page 62 of Everything I Desire

“She did, but she’s already back to sleep in the truck.” I chuckle. Teenagers and early mornings don’t mix.

A look of relief washes over her face. I hand her bag to Porter, who places it in the bed of the truck. I know he’s going to go through it, but he’s making it look like he’s moving stuff around in there.

I walk around the truck to climb in the back, but Maura stops me by placing her hand on my arm.

“Do you mind if I sit with her? I know she’s sleeping but I want to spend my final moments with her before I can’t for a long while.”

“Maura, you know Porter will still let you see her as long as you’re clean.” I say softly.

“I know. It’s just, it seems so final you know?”

I nod in response. Even though she’s left Kayla before to go get high, or out on a bender, this wasn’t her choice. She knows she can’t just come home and clean up for a day when they come to inspect her home and get Kayla back.

I can imagine how hard this must be for her to give up everything she’s known her whole life, and her child all at once.

Once we’re all settled in the truck, Porter starts the drive to the airport.

“Porter,” Maura’s soft voice comes from the back. “I signed the papers with Stacey last night. You’re Kayla’s guardian with all rights.” She chokes on a sob.

“What? You did?” Porter asks, clearly shocked by her confession.

“Yea. I didn’t want you to have to fight in court and waste money on a lawyer when I won’t even be here. I want you to be able to make decisions for her. She loves you, and even though I’ve been a shitty sister, I love you too, and I trust you. You always did try to take care of me even though I was the older sister,” she admits.

He reaches his hand back and she squeezes his hand. “I love you too, Maura. I just want you to get better.”

Tears spring to my eyes and fall silently down my cheek. I know he needs to hear that from her. And I imagine she needs it from him as well.

After the long ride to the airport, we finally park in the lot.

Everyone gets out of the truck, and we mill around to the back of the truck while Porter gets Maura’s bag.

Kayla and Maura walk ahead of us into the airport. I can hear Kayla telling her she’s proud of her for getting help, and she promises to write to her every week since she isn’t allowed to have a phone. I’m glad Kayla isn’t holding a grudge for Maura’s sake. And her own. This is the most hope she’s had for her Mom in her whole life. I just hope Maura doesn’t crush it.

Porter’s hand slips into mine and our steps sync together.

“Thank you for coming today, baby.” He kisses the top of my head.

I smile up at him.

We wait with Maura for a bit before she has to go through security to get to her gate for boarding. Porter says his goodbye and gives Maura some information she needs and we give her and Kayla a moment alone to say goodbye.

When Maura turns and waves, Kayla runs over and tucks herself under Porter’s arm between me and him. We watch her walk through security together before we leave.

Once we are back in the truck, Porter turns toward the backseat, “How are you feeling?” He asks Kayla.

“I’m okay. I’m happy she’s trying to get help. I’m just nervous she won’t, you know?” She admits, shrugging her shoulders.

She puts on her headphones and turns to look out the window. He turns back to face me, holding out his hand with his palm up. I place my hand in his as we drive back to Lupine Valley. A feeling of being settled falls over us all.

It’s been three months, and Maura is finishing her rehab today. Porter, Kayla, and I came to Florida to be here when she is released.

We are waiting outside on the benches in front of the facility when she walks out.

Kayla jumps up, “Mom!” She runs to Maura.

I stand and pull Porter up to stand with me. We wait for them to come to us trying to rush them.

Porter pulls Maura in for a hug. Over the last three months they’ve talked a lot on the phone.

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