Page 59 of Everything I Desire

I smirk at him, “How soon?”

“Not that soon.” He smirks back, understanding why I’m asking.

I take his hand and tug him toward my house, happy that Scarlett was right.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Porter

“Porter?” A meek voice comes from the bay I’m working in.

I curse under my breath, recognizing the woman’s voice.

Maura.

I slide out from underneath the car I’m working on and wipe off my hands on my coveralls.

The action makes me grin, because it reminds me of Addy. Last week she did my laundry for me and lectured me about rubbing my greasy hands on my clothes.

I get up, putting my tools away and taking my time to walk over to Maura. I need a few moments to get ready for whatever she has to say. I’m not ready for another fight. I don’t want another fight.

I watch her out of the corner of my eye. She’s wringing her hands together, fidgeting, unable to stand still. Surprisingly she looks sober.

I walk over to where she waits, “What do you need Maura?”

She winces at the anger in my voice. “I deserve that.”

She pauses, waiting to see if I have anything to add. I cross my arms and lean on the door frame.

“Um, I was just wondering,” she fumbles on her words, “is your offer for rehab still on the table?”

My jaw drops.

“What changed, Maura?” My voice softens this time.

“Sheriff Miller. After our talk the other morning, he committed me to a seventy two hour hold. It was my own fault, I said things I shouldn’t have to him and the doctors. But it gave me a chance to go through the beginning of withdrawal, and be sober enough to think about everything clearly at the end. I keep replaying everything Kayla said to me. That broke me, Porter. I know you don’t think I do, but I love her. So damn much. I just don’t know how to be a good mom, one she deserves. We both know we didn’t have any references for good parenting in our life. Not that that is an excuse. I know.” She confesses.

“Just not more than drugs? Are you ready to stay sober, Maura? Are you going to come home and this is going to start again? She’s old enough now to make her own choices. She’s impressionable. Do you want her to end up like you? Like Mom?” I throw out questions at her. Not giving her a chance to answer.

“No, Porter, I mean, yes. Idon’t -”

“Listen, Maura. I’m not some scared kid anymore. I have people backing me. I am not backing off. If you want to go to rehab, I’ll take you. But Kayla stays with me. Even if you complete rehab you won’t be ready to move back here and be a mom. Then she’ll be in college and you’ll be alone in the house again. That’s too much for you. Too much change, too much stress for someone fresh out of rehab.”

She looks at the floor, “I know that, Porter. I - I’ve thought about it all. I had nothing else to do while I was in the hospital.” She shrugs, “I’ll give you custody. Permanently. But I want to see her before I go to rehab. I want the chance to talk to her.”

“I don’t know, Maura. That’s up to her. I’ll have to talk to her.” I sigh.

“Of course, Sheriff Miller put me in a room at the Inn. So I guess just call me and let me know. I’m in room three.” She turns to leave without waiting for a response from me.

Something about her broken retreating form snaps emotions buried deep in me.

“Maura, wait.” She turns to face me. “I’ll go home in a few minutes and talk to Kayla. If you’re serious I can get you on a flight tomorrow. The rehab facility is in Florida. On the beach. I think it’ll be the best fit for you. Someone will meet you at the airport and bring you to the facility. But I want you to promise me you won’t get high between then and now.”

A smile takes over her face.

“I promise, I won’t. Thank you, Porter.” She steps forward as if she’s going to hug me, but then turns and walks back toward the Inn.

I run my hand through my hair.Fuck.

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