Page 17 of Everything I Desire

Another reminder of our time together. She used to come to the shop to see me while I worked, and I always told her to make sure she touched me so I knew she was there before she spoke. Coming from the neighborhood I did, it wasn’t always the safest option to scare a man with tools in his hands.

“Thanks, it was all your design though.” She chuckles, a light melodic sound that makes me smile back.

“A design that wouldn’t be a possibility without your carpentry abilities.”

“Who are you going to the Spring Fling with?” I ask her on impulse.

“Porter, you know I’m just chaperoning,” she says matter of factly.

“With Craig?” I ask, scowling.

“No, Porter. Not with Craig. He might want that, but I don’t. I only want one person. And you know it.” Damn it. She saw right through that question.

“You deserve a man like Craig. He could make you happy.” I cup her cheek.

“He could never, Porter. Not like you.” She leans into my touch.

“No, not like me, baby. The opposite of me is what you deserve. Someone to give you the life you want.” I start to walk away, unable to containmyself anymore. She pulls my hand back and places a chaste kiss on my cheek.

Before turning to leave she whispers, “It’ll always be you, Porter. It’s time you got on board with that. Because my answer won’t change. I’m tired of being subtle,” she winks at me and walks away leaving me speechless.

Goddamn it!

I’m not the man for her. Why won’t she see that too?

Walking out of the gym, I text Kayla to let her know I’m on my way home. I can’t watch Craig flirt with Addy anymore. I can’t see her with another man. It hurts too much. Even if it’s my own choice keeping her there.

When I get home, I check in with Kayla and head to the basement to work out. If I don’t work out some of this energy, I might do something stupid like sit outside, waiting for Addy so I can kiss her senseless, and be a selfish man, again.

I am just about to start work when my phone rings.

It’s the sheriff calling with updates on Maura. I dread these calls. As soon as Maura started getting into drugs with our parents, I knew the day would come when I needed to take care of her too.

“Hello, this is Porter Jackson.” I answer.

“Son, it’s Sheriff Miller, I’m callin’ to give you an update on your sister, or lack of one. We heard fromone of hercolleaguesthat she took off with her dealer to Jersey.”

“Are you even still looking for her? Are they going to look for her?” I ask with a bite to my voice.

“Of course we are, son. We have extra patrols going around all the usual haunts, but she ain’t here. At least not in Lupine Valley. No one has seen her since they say she left. But with no town I can’t go huntin’ the whole state of Jersey.”

I sigh. “Thanks Sheriff Miller. I appreciate you looking for her.”

“We might not have seen eye to eye back then. But I know you’re a good man now. You made something of yourself up there in New York. I check in with Ed every so often, he says you’re real successful with that restoration business of yours, and I’m proud of you for coming to take care of that niece of yours.”

“Wait, Ed? What do you mean you kept up with Ed? How did you know where I was?” I ask, completely shocked.

“You didn’t think a responsible adult would take in a lonely, scared kid without making an effort to find out why he’s runnin’, did ya?” he laughs. “I told him you were better off up there with him, gettin’ a good job you could be proud of.”

“I, but, what about the mill? They were looking for me. I ran because of that. I thought you hated me.” I’m still in shock.

“I don’t hate ya, boy. I felt bad for ya. Went to your Momma and Daddy plenty of times asking whatthey needed for you kids. They slammed the door in my face. When we got the call you were with those boys, I wanted them to bring you in. I finally had a good enough reason to hold ya. But I only wanted to talk to you about how I could help without you runnin’ the opposite direction. But then you ran for good and I was glad to hear it.”

“I don’t know what to say, Sheriff Miller.”

“Nothing to say, son. You take care of that girl, and I’ll let you know if we hear anything.” He hangs up, and I’m left staring at my phone.

After I hang up with the sheriff, I call Stacey to let her know what is going on with Maura.

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