Page 22 of Give Me Three

“M’kay,” Spencer mumbled.

“I love you. I’ll see you later.”

“Love you, too,” Spencer mumbled. “Be safe.”

“Always, pretty boy.” A moment later, Logan came back on the line. “Okay. Back to what we were discussing. What’sreallybothering you, Jaxon?”

I looked at the coffee pot again.Almostthere. Fuck, it moved slow as hell. Maybe I should just invest in a Keurig? At least then, I’d already have coffee in my hand while dealing with Logan.

“Zeppelin had a nightmare, I think.” Logan stayed quiet as I tried to sort through my head and my emotions. I heard his Jeep start. A glance at the clock told me it was already time for him to head to work. “I woke up when he did. Led him outside and had him smoke.”

“Replenish my stash,” Logan said immediately, but there was a teasing note to his voice.

I rolled my eyes. “I’ll give you money for it, and you can replenish it yourself,” I told him, exasperated. “But we were…I don’t know, having a moment, I think? We were just sitting there, and it was like he was just happy I was there with him. That he wasn’t alone. Then, Eros came outside and crawled into his lap, and I suddenly felt left out. And I also feel like I did something wrong. Should I have held him?”

“What’d you do when he woke up?” Logan asked me.

My heart constricted in my chest as I remembered how hot and sticky his skin had been. How fast his heart had been racing. How erratic his breathing had been.

“I held him and worked him through his panic attack. I don’t even think he realized he was having one.”

“So, you did nothing wrong. You held him, then took him outside and had him smoke. You took care of him, Jaxon. Why do you feel like you’re not enough? Why do you feel like a third-wheel?”

The coffee pot beeped—fucking finally—and I grabbed it, pouring it into a mug as I tried to figure out how to word what was going on in my head. After pouring in sugar and creamer, I grabbed a spoon and began stirring my coffee. “Logan, I just… I’m struggling. I don’t know how to navigate… whatever this is. I like them both, but they’re married, and they have something so damn good together. Theyknoweach other, and I feel like I’m intruding.”

“Bruh, justgo with the flow,” Logan said, repeating his words from a few minutes ago. “You’re overthinking things too much. Now I know where Spencer gets it from.”

I chose to ignore that last bit. “Yes, I know I should just go with the flow,” I growled, getting irritated now, “but I spent twenty years of my life married to a woman—one person—andyou expect me to just be able to navigate being with two marriedmen?”

“Yes, I do,” Logan told me, getting snappy now, which was a sign he meant business. “You’re a damn good man, Jaxon. The best fucking parent I could have ever fucking asked for.” A sudden lump closed up my throat at his words. It wasn’t often Logan was this honest—not in this way. He didn’t talk about his emotions. “Youdeserveto be happy. You took care of your sick wife and did your best to shield Spencer from the worst of it so he’d still have mostly happy memories of his mother. You finished raising Spencer on your own and even uprooted your life and sold the house you spent twenty years with Penelope in just so Spencer could heal. And you took me and Ezra in like it was nothing. Like your son being with two guys wasnormal. You’re supportive and kind and just everything fucking good in this world, Jaxon.”

He drew in a deep breath. “I’m begging you to stop worrying, Jaxon. I’m begging you to allow yourself to be happy. Stop worrying. Stop second-guessing everything. Fall into them and let them catch you.Please. If not for your own sake, then do it for Spencer’s. He deserves to see his dad happy and moving on.”

“Okay,” I said quietly, my voice a little strangled. I cleared my throat, though it didn’t do much to dislodge the lump in my throat. Logan had just unloaded a lot on me, and I needed a bit of time to process it. Logan was usually an asshole with a very sharp, jagged exterior. He played everything off with smart ass comments. He’d never let me see how much he truly cared about me and how thankful he was for me. “I’m sorry I called you with my shit.”

Logan sighed. “Don’t. You were there for me during the darkest fucking time of my life. Iwantto be here for you, too, Jax. Do you want me to have Spencer come over today?”

I shook my head, though I knew he couldn’t see me. Spencer needed sleep, and I didn’t need him to see me so distraught. “No, it’s…” It’s what, though? Okay? I knew it wasn’t okay. I was freaking my kids out.

“If you need him or need any of us, just call, Jax. We’ll be there in a fucking heartbeat.” My chest tightened at his words.

“Okay, Logan. Okay.” I blew out a soft breath. “Don’t go blabbing this to Spencer, yeah? He worries enough as it is.”

Logan grunted. “Yeah, he does. Which is why I’m begging you to just allow yourself this happiness and to let whatever happens happen.”

I nodded. “Okay. Have a good day at work. Love you, kid.”

Logan hummed. “Love you, too, Jax.”

A throat clearing jerked my attention away from the coffee mug I was about to grab. I set my phone down, turning to look at Eros. He was still in my dark bathrobe, and his blonde hair was still a mess on his head. Yet, despite his disheveled experience, he was damn good-looking, and I wanted to do nothing more than back him against the counter he was next to and kiss him fucking stupid.

“Who were you talking to?” Eros asked, a casual note to his voice.

I heaved a tired sigh, glancing down at my phone before looking back at him. “Logan,” I told him, leaving it at that.

“Everything okay?” Eros stepped further into the kitchen, looking at the clock on my stove. “It’s a bit early.”

I shrugged. “I needed someone to talk to.” I picked up my coffee mug and leaned back against the counter behind me. Eros leaned his hip against the countertop next to me, studying me. I avoided his gaze and sipped at my coffee. I felt raw enough as it was after my conversation with Logan, and if Eros kept looking at me like that, like heknewwhat was bothering me, I was going to split wide open.

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