Page 37 of Twins For My Bestie's Brother

I tuck my chin on Jackson’s shoulder under the guise I’m watching Will walk away. In reality, I’m trying to be close. To inhale all of his musk. Delicious dark wood and tobacco. But I can’t ignore the sight of Will, walking away, hands in his pockets, head fallen forward. “He looks like he’s moping.”

“Good. As he should.”

Jackson releases me, which means I have to release too. I do so begrudgingly, returning my hands to the ground behind me. Hopefully, he doesn’t see how my nipples have perked up from being close to him or feel the heat radiating from between my legs.

Jackson looks out at the park. A light breeze tousles his golden hair. “Crowd is thinning out.”

I follow his gaze. It’s true. The playground is empty. Evening walkers are fewer and farther between. Soon we will be left alone. With no reason to pretend anymore.

“Ten more minutes, then,” I say.

“I’m in no rush,” Jackson replies.

I bite the insides of my cheeks. Is he in no rush because he enjoys being with me like this? Because, despite every intention, I enjoy being around him.

We sit in silence, which would be comfortable if not for my racing thoughts. I want something more. Want to do that again.I have to remember the lines. We came here for a reason, and it wasn’t to enjoy each other’s company. It was to make others think we’re enjoying each other’s company. How I’ll keep this up for a month, though, I’m not sure.

“What was it about him, anyway?” Jackson asks.

I blink. “About Will?”

Jackson nods but says nothing.

I shrug. “I don’t know. I was fifteen and . . . he liked me. Isn’t that sometimes all it takes? For someone to make you feel wanted?”

“That’s why it lasted all these years? He liked you?” Jackson asks. His expression is seemingly apathetic, but his words are tight and stilted.

“I mean, no, we had a lot in common. We met in art class. We both liked that. He understood that about me, I guess. It was fun.”

Jackson presses the tip of his tongue to the dip in his upper lip and nods.

“I liked the way he drew me,” I say, knowing I’m blushing.

Jackson finally looks at me again. “The way hedrewyou?”

“Yeah, I liked the way I looked in his eyes. I mean, come on, you know what it’s like to be a teenager. You think you’re not good enough in so many ways, and suddenly someone makes you feel . . . wanted. Just for being.”

The hardness in his expression softens.

“So, when he drew me, I wasn’t the weird girl with unruly curly hair who liked wearing clothes that weren’t trendy and didn’t like to talk in class unless I was calling someone out for being an asshole. I was . . . ” I don’t like thinking about the good times. The way Will and I fell in love. Because it was a farce. A smokescreen. “Like you said, to him I was always beautiful. Back then at least.”

Jackson runs his hand down his beard. “You’ve always been beautiful to me, too, Lily.”

I let my eyes flutter shut. Yes, it feels fucking amazing to hear him say that.Andit’s confusing me. “Jackson—“

Before I know what’s happened, I’m flat on my back, and Jackson is on top of me. My lips are engulfed in another kiss, and I’m too stunned to know what to do with my hands.

I feel him between my legs, hardened against his fly. I lift my legs until my feet are planted flat and my knees frame his hips.

The kissing is frenzied and untamed. I love it. I love every second of it. But why? Why now?

Jackson tears his mouth away from mine and pushes his face into my hair, his lips skimming my ear. “I don’t need to fucking draw it to make you know it, Lily.”

I suck in a breath.

“You’re beautiful. Period. And I’ll tell you a million times if that’s what it takes for you to believe it.”

In all my years with Will, I never once felt like this. Every nerve is aflame. Every part of me wanting without question. I move my face to kiss him again, but Jackson retreats back on his knees and watches the park for a moment, like a meerkat on the savanna. “I thought I saw him taking another loop. Sorry about that.”

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