I look up to the fluorescent light above us to will myself not to cry. Mom let life crush her. How hard it was after our father left her to make ends meet. How she looked for release in the wrong places. Lost herself. And lost us in the process. Thank God for our grandfather, because otherwise . . .

“She needs you, Jackson. Okay? She might not say it, but she does.”

I nod. “Okay.”

Kayla takes me by the hand and leads me to the door of Lily’s hospital room. She places my hand on the doorknob because I don’t have the strength, but when I feel that cool metal, I am infused with the strength I need to step up the way I should have days ago.

The room is big and gray. And Lily, sitting at the end of an examination table in a hospital gown, her legs dangling over the side and her hair pulled up on top of her head, looks so small.

I push the door closed behind me, the latching so loud compared to the silent room.

Lily’s face is red and wet from tears already shed. We look at each other. I have so many things I’d like to say. But do I start with apologies or questions?

However, Lily beats me to the punch. “I need you to hold me,” she whispers.

The words infuse every cell in my body to act. I launch myself toward her and wrap her up in my arms, her small form perfectly pressed to my chest. Lily slides her arms under my coat so she’s cocooned into me.

“I don’t know what happened,” she sobs. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I just started bleeding and—”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I should have been there.”

She grabs me tighter.

I kiss the top of her head. “I’m sorry. For everything. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to lose it, Jackson,” she says which seems like a non sequitur, but is a perfect answer to me.

“I don’t want that either, baby; I don’t.”

Lily lifts her head and looks into my eyes.

“I should have told you that when you told me, but I was . . . ” I shake my head. “I was scared. And I should have pushed past that to tell you that having a baby is just everything to me, Lil.”

She smiles. “Really?”

“Really. I promise. I want it all with you.”

Lily’s smile grows sad.

“I called off the deal,” I tell her. Which is true. Danforth wasn’t happy about it after all the time we had spent crafting the business plans in the remaining time I spent in Banff. But I knew I couldn’t come back to Cider Bay and have the dealandLily. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

“But we might not even have . . . ” Her words catch in her throat.

“That doesn’t matter.” A baby was definitely part of the decision. I wasn’t going to pull Lily away from Cider Bay, and I certainly wasn’t going to be away from her if we were going to become parents. But that wasn’t all. “It’s time for your dreams, Lily. I had mine. I forgot you hadn’t had yours, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I tried to push you to the backburner. I never should have done that, but I was scared you were icing me out and . . . ”

Lily blinks and some tears rush down her cheeks.

“Doesn’t matter,” I say. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Lily pulls me close and kisses me. I’ve missed her lips. Missed that knowing feeling. That she’s mine.

“We’re going to be okay. Whatever happens,” I say, both as a promise and, hopefully, a persuasion. I tip my finger under her chin.

“Okay,” she says with a vehement nod.

There’s a knock on the door.

“Come in!” Lily calls out eagerly.