Page 44 of Twins For My Bestie's Brother

Jackson nods. “I wasn’t going to ask you if it wasn’t okay with her. And it would have been okay if she hadn’t had to tell me that you . . . that I couldn’t.”

There’s a small ember of something in my belly. A what if. What if he had asked? What would I have done?

Jackson’s jaw tightens. “And that pissed me off.”

“It pissed you off?” I say, unable to contain my laughter.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s not. I’m just in shock. I’m not laughing at you, I’m just . . . ”

We stare at each other.

“I dated Tia. Because I was angry with you,” he says. “That’s the truth. It was immature, but I was a kid and—”

“You were angry at me because I was datingWill?”

“I was angry at you becauseIcouldn’t date you. There is a difference.”

My mind is swirling. I never suspected. Never evendreamt. “So, you wanted to ask me out now because . . . ”

“Because the feeling I had back then never went away.”

I feel faint.

“Despite every attempt at finding someone else to feel this way for, I have never been able to shake the idea of you . . . and me,” Jackson goes on. “I agreed to help you because I care, but it hurts too much to pretend, Lily. I can’t do it anymore.”

Though there is an ache between us, my heart is whole. I’m not mistaken. Jackson has been blurring the lines between fake dating and real feelings this whole time. I’m not a fool for hurting over his distance. For wondering if we could be more. “Why did you wait so long?” I ask.

Jackson’s eyes widen. “What?”

“Why did you . . . you should have asked. Back in high school, you should have—“

“You werewith Will. I would have been—“

“I don’t care. You should have asked!” I cry out. “Because I would have said yes.”

The words hang in the night air between us. I never considered the possibility of Jackson and me back then. But if I go back in time to the girl I was then, I want to believe she would have said yes to her best friend’s brother. The handsome track star with the winning smile who had a heart of gold that a jock was not supposed to have according to the movies.

Jackson lifts his chin. “I don’t think you would have, Lily.”

The history I have rewritten for us disappears. I wouldliketo believe she’d have said yes to him. “Not because of you, though. Because of me. I didn’t deserve you.”

“Stop that. I hate when you talk about yourself like that.”

“It’s true, I was—”

“You were perfect, Lily.”

I seal my lips together.

“Youareperfect.”

He says those words firmly, with an insistence I cannot fight against. I am far from perfect. No human is. But Jackson finds the perfect in all my imperfect.

“Using me to make Will angry though. I can’t do that anymore. I have to protect myself.”

Jackson steps back and grabs the door to shut it on me. I step forward just in time, letting it push against my shoulder. “What are you talking about?”

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