Page 48 of Lost Prince

"Piper, I'm so sorry," I blurt out, taking a step back to give her space. "I never meant to scare you earlier. Are you okay?”

Piper's eyes meet mine, and I can see a mix of emotions there. Fear, yes, but also a glimmer of understanding. She takes a deep breath before speaking. "Thank you for apologizing. I know you're going through a lot right now. Just… Please try to remember that your actions affect others too."

I nod, feeling both relieved and ashamed. "I'll do better, I promise." But even as I say it, I’m not sure I can do it. It’s not like I intended to break the vase or beat Elio’s foreman to a pulp. Something came over me.

“Are you okay?” she asks, surprising me. Why would she worry about me after what I did?

“Yeah, sure.”

“It’s just that I've never seen you lose your temper like that with Lana before. At least, not that I can remember."

That's right, Piper knew me before when she was Elio's high school sweetheart. The realization sends my mind reeling, trying desperately to grasp at memories that aren't there.

"I'm sorry, I… I don't remember much from before.” I run a hand through my hair in frustration. "I think I’m worse, though."

Piper's expression softens, a mix of sympathy and something else I can't quite place. "You were always intense. But the last time I saw you, we were just sixteen or so. What I remember was how you always had Lana's back. You two were inseparable."

Her words paint a picture of a past I can't recall, and it makes my chest ache. I try to imagine myself as the protective brother she describes, but it feels like grasping at smoke.

"I wish I could remember," I mutter, more to myself than to Piper.

She reaches out, patting my arm gently. "It'll come back in time. Just… try not to be so hard on yourself. Or Lana."

I nod, feeling a fresh wave of guilt. Not just for scaring Piper earlier, but for all the ways I've failed to be the brother Lana remembers and needs.

"I hate this. I hate letting everyone down. It's like I'm just a ghost of the brother I'm supposed to be." I’m surprised by my confession.

Piper's eyes fill with sympathy, but it only makes me feel worse. I don't want pity. I want to be the man they all remember. Or maybe I don’t. That’s the problem. Deep down, I think I’m fighting against remembering.

“Everyone understands,” she says.

"It's not just the memory loss. It's like… everything feels wrong. My instincts, my reactions. Who I was doesn’t seem to match up with who I am now."

The words pour out of me now, a dam finally breaking. "I feel like an impostor in my own life. Everyone's waiting for the old Lazaro to come back, but what if he never does? What if this is just who I am now?"

I meet Piper's gaze, seeing the concern there. "You're not disappointing anyone. We're just so grateful to have you back."

I scoff, unable to hide my disbelief. "How can you say that? I'm not the man you all remember. I can't be who Lana needs me to be."

Piper shakes her head, her grip on my arm tightening slightly. "That's not true. You're here. You're trying. That's what matters."

"But—”

"No buts. You have no idea how much it means to everyone that you're home. Lana never gave up hope. Even when others said you were gone for good, she kept searching."

I don’t know how she thinks that will relieve my guilt because it doesn’t. She never gave up on me, while I don’t remember her and find myself annoyed by her most of the time.

"We don't expect you to be exactly the same person you were before," Piper continues. "How could you be, after everything you've been through? But you're still Lazaro. You're still family."

A lump forms in my throat. I can see why Elio loves her and married her. She’s smart, calm, loving. Sort of like Diana. "I just can’t figure out how to be part of this family again."

"You don't have to figure it all out at once. Just be here. That's enough for now." She arches a brow. “But you might want to work on controlling that temper of yours. Elio's not as forgiving as I am. Next time you have a tantrum in front of me or Elysse?—”

I wave a hand. “He’ll put me back in the hospital. I get it. I’ll deserve it too.”

“Well, maybe not that extreme, but perhaps you can find other ways to let out the anger. Hit the gym, maybe see a counselor, I don’t know, but something more constructive.”

I nod, not having much confidence in counselors but knowing I need to find a way to control my anger. "I'll do my best. Thanks, Piper."

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