Page 54 of Crying in the Rain

This wasfarfrom the normal scheme of things, yet it felt right and familiar. So they’d only known each other three days, only had one date, only shared a bed for convenience. Ade was emotionally wrecked, and Kris wasn’t faring much better, but the longer Ade spent in the welcoming warmth of this well-loved kitchen and the company of two of the sweetest people he’d ever known—and Casper, of course—the stronger he became.

Friends of my own, whatever happens.

It was only the start, he knew. He had a lot more work to do before he could, finally, declare his life Fergus-free.

19: Splinters

Ade

As soon asthey’d eaten, Kris took the dog for a walk. He was honest about needing a little time to himself and said he felt safe taking it, knowing Ade was in Shaunna’s capable hands. Ade wasn’t sure how he felt about that—relieved in one sense, as it meant he didn’t have to monitor or censor his behaviour. It was a luxury he had long been without.

Fergus has gone. He’s gone. For good.

Of course, they’d done this before, but it did feel different this time. He had reclaimed his apartment. He hadn’t blocked Fergus’s number because ignoring him—should he ever call again—was more powerful, though riskier. Tomorrow, he’d find a specialist garage to get the car fixed and head home because, as grateful as he was for Kris and Shaunna’s support, this wastheirhouse,theirlife, and he was an outsider to their intimacy, the connection that only came from years of living, breathing, being each other’s existence.

Just like Fergus and I had. It could’ve been different. It could’ve worked, if you—

“Here, look at this, Ade,” Shaunna said, once again scragging him by the scruff and hoisting him out in the nick of time. Ade followed her signed instruction to sit at the table, where she spun a laptop to face him.

“What’s this? Oh! Wow! I see what you mean.” He leaned in and looked more closely at the two images displayed side by side. The one on the left was Kris, perhaps in his mid-twenties;the one on the right was Morten Harket, at the peak ofa-ha’s chart success. The likeness was astonishing.

“Yep. So,” Shaunna tapped the screen, “I think it’s the highlights that make Kris look different now, plus Morten’s quite the hunk these days.”

“Is he?”

“Hell, yes! Definitely been hitting the gym.”

“You like ’em beefy?”

“Do I ever!” Shaunna grinned.

Ade laughed. “It’s amazing, isn’t it? The difference between the ideal in your head and who you end up with?”

“It is. Although I always thought Kris was attractive, even before I knew he was interested in girls, but it wasn’t about his looks. It was…well, nothing specific and then everything all at once—the way you slowly fall for someone without realising it.”

“Yes, I know what you mean. It usually takes me a while to work out how I feel, or how I think I feel, at least.” Ade’s mind drifted again, back to the early days with Fergus—the flirting, the overly romantic gestures, theinsistencethat Ade join him for dinner or a movie or whatever. But insistence wasn’t romantic, and rejection was not something Fergus accepted well, because that was how he saw it. The gifts stopped, other than when Ferg had been so awful he recognised it for himself, and then he’d come crawling back, simpering and loaded up with wine and chocolates and teddy bears.

“You OK there?” Shaunna asked.

Ade nodded. “I will be. Thank you.”

Shaunna squeezed his hand. “You’re welcome.”

“And are you OK with…” Ade didn’t finish, but she got it.

“Absolutely. I’m just glad he chose someone I like!”

Ade gave her a nod that was both thanks and confirmation that the affection was two-way. “How about you?” he asked. “Found yourself a beefy hunk?”

“Er, no.” Shaunna got up and switched on the kettle.

Oops. “Sorry. That was very forward of me.”

Shaunna gave him a quick smile, but he’d obviously put her on the spot and she didn’t want to share. He made a very clear shift of attention back to the photos.

“Morten is good-looking, but his eyes don’t have that sparkle. And his chin is quite square—Morten’s, I mean. Kris has more of a heart-shaped face. Not overtly masculine, yet manly at the same time.”

“Uh-huh?”

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