Page 18 of Cruel Winter with You

He laughed. “It’s okay. You’re good at other things.”

Am I?I wondered darkly, glancing at my toes in the sand.

“The point is, I did it. I made it. I hit my KPIs. The things I wanted to achieve for the company, for myself ... I ticked them off.”

“That’s amazing.”

“It is. Not the success, necessarily, but ... in the past few years, I’ve worked much harder than I thought myself capable of. And all along, I was thinking about you.”

I blinked at him, sure that I had misheard.

“You remember what I told you last time we were alone, don’t you?”

Blinking stars and bitter night air. His kiss on my cheek. That dimpled grin. The outside of his thigh pressed warmly against mine.

Once I’m worthy of it, I’ll ask you for another chance.

He hadn’t been serious, though. Or if he had, those intentions had long dissolved. It was a crush, that’s all. Or the lingering traces of one. But Marc had a whole new life now, a company, girlfriends.I surprised him at his place and there was a girl, Jamie—a fucking knockout,Tabitha had texted me last year.Nice and smart, too. Forever amazed by the women my baby brother pulls. It’s gotta be the money, right?

But now he was looking at me, and the things he was saying ...

“Are you having a slow week?” I asked, forcing out a laugh. It was an unkind thing to say, and I regretted it right away, even as I continued. “Because if you’re just looking to get laid, I’m probably—”

He bent toward me.

Instantly shut me up.

His kiss was sudden, deep and open mouthed, nothing to everything, and in less than a second, I felt lightheaded, vibrating, ready to burst. His hands closed around my waist, pulled me to him, and a wave of simmering heat swept over me. I reached up to hold on to something and found his shoulders and his nape, letting my nails drag through the short hair there. When a deep, guttural moan rose from the back of his throat, I thought,I’m ruined.

Marc kept pressing me into his warm, solid body. He tasted like he smelled, he felt like home, and in that moment I would have done anything for him.

But then he stopped. “Jamie.” After a short hesitation, with some difficulty, he pulled back. “I fucking adore you.” His forehead dipped to lean against mine. “I was in love with you when I was fifteen, and ... if I’m honest, not much has changed. Just ... come home with me. Let me take care of you. Let me make you happy. I can tell that you’re lonely, and ... honestly, so am I. I’ll nevernotbe until we’re together.”

His words hit me like a bucket of ice-cold water. I took a step back, then another when his hands twitched as he instinctively reached to pull me back. “Are you ... No, Marc. Are you crazy?”

His chest rose and fell rapidly. “Come on, Jamie. This cannot be a surprise. I’ve been in love with you since forever.”

“Puppy love!You had a crush on me when we were teenagers, but that was ages ago. It’s been years, and—”

“It’s been years, and I’ve met a lot of people in the meantime, and not a single one has measured up. There hasn’t been a single person I’ve liked as much as I like you.”

Laughter huffed bitterly out of me. “That’s just because I’m the one who got away, Marc. At this point, you don’t even know how much of a mess I am. I cry all the time. I cried last night, for hours. I’m a ... a disaster. A doctor who cries when her patients aresick!”

His grin was lopsided. “Well, this changes things. I didnotknow you were capable of basic empathy for your fellow humans.”

“I’m serious. I thought you were over this. For the last few years you—”

“For the last few years I forced myself to be patient, and since I knew that I’d never be able to keep my promise if you and I ended up alone, I avoided it altogether. But this is it. I’ve done something I can be proud of. I’ve proven to myself that I can be reliable and get shit done. And now I want to prove it to you, too. I can provide for you. I can give you what you need. I can—” His jaw shifted. “I’m not over you. And I never will be.”

“You—you clearly have an idealized concept of me that—”

“Idealized?” He laughed. His hands came up to my cheeks. “Jamie, if anyone is aware of your flaws, it’s me. You have the worst taste in TV shows. When you get angry, you get quiet instead of communicating. You care way too much about pleasing the people around you, especially your dad, who absolutely takes advantage of it. You become sleepy and basically useless past nine thirty at night. You have this odd belief that you cannot tell people how you really feel, or you’ll be saddling them with the weight of the world and they’ll leave you. But it’s okay. I see these things. I’ve always seen them, and I love youbecause of, notdespite, them. Because they’re what makes youyou. And Ilovewho you are—I lovehow thoughtful, and observant, and compassionate you are. I love that you never form an opinion before gathering all the available information. I love that your sense of humor is so dry, I never know if you’re joking. I love how gorgeous you are when you laugh, and I love the way your brain never stops working. I loveyou.”

I was about to break down in tears. Because, okay—maybe hedidknow me. Better than most. Better thananyone.

But it still meant nothing. “Marc, I’mbasicallyyour older sister.”

“There is absolutelynothingbrotherly about the way I feel right now or have ever felt in your presence, ever. I wanted to marry you when I was six, and I wanted to do very,veryrude things to you at eighteen.”

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