Page 59 of A Fine Line

“I can’t believe you live in Philly when you have… this,” I said, gesturing out at the view.

Winnie smiled softly. “I can’t believe I ever left it in the first place.”

I let out a slow breath, understanding washing over me. “I get it now. Why you were so upset at the thought of not coming in for Thanksgiving. Not seeing them, or this. I understand.”

She sucked in a breath, her body going still for a moment before she nodded and leaned into me. “It’s hard to not be here.”

“Yeah, I get it.”

The silence between us was comfortable, the kind of silence that didn’t need filling. But then Winnie’s voice broke through, soft and curious. “Are you missing your folks?”

I snorted at her use of “folks”- the works of just being in Alabama already kicking her into her factory settings- and shrugged. “I guess. I mean, I miss them because it’s Thanksgiving, and I know they’re all together. But… even if I was there, I wouldn’t feel fully there. Like I’m just maybe reaching fifty five percent you know?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, her voice trailing off as her fingers brushed against mine. “Do you feel fully here?”

I hesitated for a second. “Honestly?”

She turned to look at me, her eyes searching mine, auburn hair blowing in the wind. “Please.”

“Whenever I’m with you, I am a hundred percent there. Wherever we are.”

She hummed, leaning her head against my shoulder. My hand found its way to her hip, my fingers caressing the fabric of her dress, feeling the warmth of her skin underneath. I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else right now, couldn’t imagine feeling more grounded than I did in this moment.

“Can I ask you something?” Her voice vibrated through my chest.

“Only if I can after.” I had one question weighing over me.

“Of course.”

“That day…when you were headed back to Philly. We were on the phone and you were-” She paused, searching for the appropriate word. She didn’t need to explain though.

“Yeah, what about it?” I leaned a little closer to her.

“Does it happen a lot? I was just wondering because I’ve been on anxiety medicine after I got a lot of anxiety and panic attacks back to back but I didn’t know if-”

“Yeah.” I shrugged. “It happens a lot.”

“How often?”

“In the city? All the time. Here or…I don’t know,” with you. “in quiet places.”

“Do you-”

“I have ADHD.” I blurted it out and the entire ten seconds afterward I kept trying to think how I could toss it back inside of me. Why did I tell her? Why was she the one I told first? “I mean-”

“I kind of figured.”

“Oh,” was that a bad thing?

“Lottie does too. Have ADHD, I mean. It’s probably more common than people realize but most people don’t go to actually get diagnosed and everything.”

The knot in my chest unraveled just a touch. “So you, like, don’t think it’s weird?”

“I think it makes you.” Her head turned to face me and I followed, our noses inches away. “And I like you as you.”

And suddenly the thoughts of my broken brain or disorganized thoughts or missed bills were fluttering away into nothingness. Until all that was left of me was this shell of a man that was really falling for the pretty woman in front of him.

Winnie smiled at my expression, I wondered what I could even look like right now, gawking at her like a pigeon or something. She looked up at the stars, taking in the view. I kept my eyes right on hers.

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