Page 36 of A Fine Line

Crew nodded. “Makes the most sense.”

“Do you think we should at least explain what the other one is doing?”

“I’m not convinced you won’t take what you learn and run out on your own again.”

“I wouldn’t cheat.”

He rolled his eyes in this way that was so obvious he didn’t believe me and it honestly pissed me off.

“This again, seriously? It seems to be all you care about. Fake mustaches and recipe stealing is totally fine when it’s your turn though, right?”

“Because I was just making something inspired by you.”

“Still cheating, isn’t it?”

“No, I’m not you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Crew’s hands slammed into the cutting board in front of him and his voice cut, sharp and thick through the tension in the air. “It means I don’t flirt and hand out my number to perfect strangers while I’m engaged.”

My movements froze, everything around me standing still. Memories and pictures came flashing to my forefront in big bold letter. You’re not enough. And then as far as the engaged part… “I’m sorry, what?”

“You heard me loud and clear.”

“Apparently, I didn’t. You think I cheated on my ex-fiancé?”

“I don’t think you did, I know you did.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You gave me your number, flirted with me, and made me feel like I had a real chance. I felt like all of it was actually going to happen and when I went to text you that night I couldn’t think of what to say so I thought I would look you up and just try to find some common ground.”

My chest tightened because I already knew where this was going. And reaching it, explaining it, felt like the knot in my stomach was growing tighter and tighter, strings popping and systems failing.

“You were engaged, Winnie.” Crews voice was strained, raspy and broken like saying it out loud physically hurt him. Like I had physically hurt him. “Engaged to a man in a cowboy hat when you said you liked city boys and I’m sorry I made you my mortal enemy because of it but damn it, you made me feel like…I had a chance. Like I wasn’t the extra or the side person or someone in passing. And when I saw you holding up a giant ring,” he sucked in a breath and his thumb twiddled the knife handle. “it hurt. And I hated you for it.”

The day he parked next to me for the first time…the way he dismissed me like I was of no value. How he continued to find every excuse to get under my skin for years to come. All of it added up and yet somehow the final number was still wrong.

“Crew… I wasn’t engaged then.”

“No, I know what I saw.”

“I know what you saw too, I…” I sighed, trying so hard to piece every bit of this together. “Marshall and I were done for over a year when you and I met.”

“Then why was he still on there? Why did you look so perfectly happy holding up that ring?”

My face felt hot and this room felt small and all these memories and realizations were floating around in my all too busy head. Grief over my past self who’d completely lost herself along the way. Regret for the last five years’ worth of fights between me and the man beside me that could’ve been solved in a simple conversation. Relief…that I can now know why he hated me. That I knew it wasn’t just a one-time casual thing for him either. Knowing this was my fault, this entire situation, rested on my shoulders and the weight was overbearing.

“I…It’s embarrassing, Crew. It’s a long story and, I don’t know, hard to explain. But I promise you, I have never and would never cheat on someone. Poison someone, possible. Arson maybe too. But I take every relationship extremely seriously and the thought that you assumed I didn’t…I get it. I mean, I get why you were so pissed that first day I pulled into the parking lot.”

“Tell it then.”

“What?”

He set his knife down, facing away from me, and crossed those long arms over his chest. Leaning against his counters left his height to go down a couple inches, but he was still towering over me.

“The story. Tell it. Tell me, if you honestly want me to believe you you’ll have to say it all.”

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