Page 31 of A Fine Line

“Yes.”

“Why?”

I sucked in through my teeth, trying to think of how honest I want to get here. Telling all of the truth would leave me bare, raw and laid out on a table for her to dissect and use for leverage later. But then again when I had that…spell or whatever earlier she had yet to bring it up again. She checked my eyes, searching for what- I don’t know, and proceeded to go about her easily disagreeable ways. She hadn’t muttered a word of it since and Ihad a feeling that we had a mutual understanding of where this game between us ended.

So I spilled almost all of it. “Because I’ve never brought a girl over or even had an actual girlfriend. They think the second coming is happening and need to get their minds straight because Jesus must be appearing on their front door any day now.”

Winnie stared at me for a long moment. And I let her. My lack of relationships didn’t mean a lack of intimacy and I refused to shy away from the fact that I’d never found myself tied to one person like everyone else seemed to be. No one had ever wanted to stick around long enough. In fact, only person who stood by my life long enough- besides my family- was the woman sitting next to me. And it was merely so she could have fun arguing with me than anything.

I watched the moment play out like a movie: Winnies jaw opening and closing, her eyes shifting down to my mouth, lingering there for a while before meeting back up to my eyes. “You’ve…never had a girlfriend before?”

“No. I don’t want to hear what you think about it.” I reached for the keys and turned the car off.

“But…” Her eyebrows pushed together. “You’re such a flirt.”

“I’m not-”

“You are, you had me throwing my number at you within five minutes of meeting you.”

Touching the subject felt like cold air pressing against an exposed nerve. We never mentioned that day, and we never should. A reminder to either of us that the exchange of numbers and what followed after was uncrossed territory, an area I didn’t want to expand on. An area that needed to be burned entirely from my memory.

“That was different.” I was whispering, as if that made a difference. “I’m serious, you really screwed me over here. Youowe me, so keep your mouth shut and don’t say a single word about this being fake, they’ll eventually lose interest once one of them brings up babies or successful careers or something more interesting than me, alright?”

“Crew, I mean this in the most genuine way possible.” Her hand landed on my wrist, delicate and sweet, warmth trailing all around the area. “I highly, highly, doubt there is anything more interesting in that house than you.”

On paper, some would read this as a compliment. But knowing the woman mere inches away from me, she meant it as a passive aggressive dig. So I took it as such.

“Was that supposed to be an insult?”

“I’ll let you take it as you will.” She exited the car and her warm vanilla scent lingered behind her.

I knocked twice on the back door and then immediately winced because I never knocked on the door- no one did, you just walked in like we owned the place. To try and reverse it I knocked two more times but then I realized I just did four very awkward and off beat knocks. My fingers reached for the door knob and I creaked the back door open wide, finding all of my family members in the living room and kitchens open area, staring directly at me and the redhead directly passed my shoulder.

Winnie and I both walked in, silent and staring right back shoulder to shoulder now. Somewhere a tumble weed brushes past us and an old western soundtrack plays in the distance. It’s not actually a tumble weed, just my will of giving up floating out into the wind.

My mom was mid hunched over in front of the stove, water almost boiling over. Adam and Rachel are paused on the couch where their legs are tangled up. Luke was holding some kind of Star Wars Lego kit- his wife, Layla, holding the matching pair. Avery pregnant Marigold and Liam were sitting on the barstools, both paused in their actions of mid-feeding themselves. Nathan and Calla were next to my dad, all frozen in time.

A beat passed.

“Holy crap, she’s gorgeous.” Calla blurted out in breaking the silence and resulting in everyone going back to what they’re doing.

I looked to Winnie next to me and for the first time in a long time- maybe since the day we met- she blushed everywhere and took a step closer to me.

Yeah she’s beautiful, but so is a cactus and it will still sting the shit out of you if you’re not careful.

My eyes snagged on my mother’s wide glance, raising her brows from me to the woman posing as my girlfriend.

“Uh, this is Winnie.” I tossed a finger towards her and let out a silent pray no one says anything about the elephant in the room. They’d all seen her before, they knew exactly who she was if they pieced any of this together.

Luke squinted behind his glasses. “Hey, isn’t she the one who-”

Layla placed a hand on my brother and directed it to her belly, not quite showing yet. “Oh, Luke, I think the baby wants to go get some pretzels.”

Luke’s back shot up and grabbed his wife, practically lifting her the entire way to the kitchen and holding his arms out as a barrier around her like we would even attempt at stopping them.

“Hi.” Winnie lifted a single hand and waved aimlessly, eyes scattering across the wide span of my family. No one responded back yet, all still staring. Even I was. Her hair looked like fresh, hot strawberry jam resting on a stove that I just want to dip my fingers into, knowing it would burn and still begging for it anyway.

Mom stepped up, wiping her hands on the apron tied around her waist with little embroidered flowers spread across. “Hi, sorry, apparently I raised my children to have no manners.” She cut her eyes to my siblings with a death glare before turning back to Winnie and smiling big and bright. “Please, come in and sit down. I’m sorry the house is a wreck, Crew rarely has guests so I wasn’t prepared.”

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