Page 8 of We Never Kissed

“Me. And I’m just trying to protect you.”

Ava dropped her arms then, and we stood in the middle of everyone dancing, staring at each other in a standoff. She folded her arms and let out a sigh. “So, you don’t want me, but you don’t want anyone else to have me either?”

I almost gasped at her declaration. We didn’t say things like that to each other. Not directly anyway. “You don’t think I want—” I dropped my head and shook it.

“What, Alex? Just tell me for fuck’s sake.”

“You know I care about you, Ava.”

“Do I?”

I wanted to say it, so desperately it burned a hole in the back of my throat, in the depths of my gut, and pierced through my already struggling heart. I was just about to step closer to her when someone appeared beside us, and I felt a hand on my arm.

“Finally, I was about to cut in.”

I turned and found Elsie standing there.

Shit.

Elsie draped an arm around my shoulders. “Ava, you don’t mind, do you?” Ava rolled her eyes, but it didn’t deter Elsie, who added, “On second thought, why don’t we get out of here for round two.”

I watched Ava’s eyes narrow, first on Elsie and then on me, hatred burning in their depths. “You guys have a good night,” she said, staying focused on me so I knew exactly what that meant.

I should have chased after her; I wanted to, but I didn’t. I also didn’t dance with Elsie, at the wedding or between the sheets that night. All I cared about was that Ava didn’t hate me. But the truth was…it was probably better if she did.

Chapter 5

Ava

Present Day

The first thing I noticed when Alex pulled me close was how he smelled. It always amazed me that the man could smell like home and desire all at once. I closed my eyes for a beat to let it sink in, to calm me for the conversation we were about to have. If only we could dance and simply be in the moment.

When I opened my eyes, he was so focused on me it was too overwhelming, so I leaned in and rested my cheek against his shoulder, letting myself get my bearings with him. Being so close and yet never feeling close enough, made my heart clench, and my throat felt like it was closing up.

We swayed in silence a bit too long because I was having second thoughts. Alex and I were better when we weren’t talking. Sharing the same space with him had always been… It was as if he were oxygen, breathing life into me. I would have these flashes in my mind, these fantasies of what it could be like. Maybe the reality, if it ever happened, would be a sheer letdown, but my gut told me otherwise. When we would part ways each time, there was a crash—worse than any hangover I’d ever experienced—which I got through by diving into my life, staying busy, and yes, being with someone else. Mark was comfortable and the deepest I’d ever gotten into a relationship before breaking it off. But it was time to put all my cards on the table because I was tired of living half a life…of being without Alex.

“Well let me get a word in edgewise,” I heard Alex say, snapping me out of it.

I looked up and let out a small laugh. “Sorry…”

He grinned and of course I melted, forgetting how to use words.

I drew in a deep breath, never taking my eyes off him, garnering strength from his solid frame pressed against my body. “I know what Sammy told you…about Mark.”

Getting it out was harder than I thought, and with my hesitation came his words. “I’m sorry he didn’t let you share the news, but like I said…I’m happy for you.”

I gave him a head tilt. We’d never spoken any words to each other about our feelings. Hell, I could have dreamed up this whole thing in my head, a school-girl fantasy of a boy turning into a man before my eyes, but in reality he only thought of me as his friend’s little sister. Frustration grew in my belly at the casual way he threw it out there. Did he owe me anything? No. My head might believe there was never anything between us, but my heart said otherwise. “Are you really?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He gave me a tight smile. “I know me and Sammy were hard on you over the years, but you’re an intelligent woman and Mark, well, he’s… He’s a decent guy.”

I shook my head. “Wow, way to throw in the towel in the home stretch.”

Alex’s eyes darkened and his hand tightened around my waist. “What do you want me to say, Ava? At some point, I have to butt out and let you live your life. And if marrying this guy is what you want, then—”

“It’s not!” My eyes widened at hearing my defensive tone. I drew in a breath to settle my nerves. “Mark didn’t propose.”

“What?” His face showed he was clearly shocked.

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