Page 63 of We Never Kissed

“I’m serious. How long are you going to let this eat away at you?”

“I…I don’t know.” I let out a huff. “Old habits of denial. Listen, I get it and I know things have tochange. I’m not trying to shut you out, but just trust me when I say I’m working up to something.”

“With your mom?” he said with eyes wide. “Or with Ava?”

I took a beat before answering. “Both. As long as I have my bro by my side?”

He held his arms out wide. “No matter what happens, brother.”

We hugged it out, and I got into my car. “I’ve got some things to take care of, but I’ll be in touch.”

He nodded. “Good because Cass told me not to come home until we were good.”

“We’re good. And thanks, brother.”

I watched Sammy walk to his car and get in before I headed home, feeling a sense of security that my family was intact. And certain of what I needed to do next. At my place, I ate, did some work, and got things ready for the next day.

Rising early, I only grabbed a cup of coffee before heading out the door. The drive would give me time to think things through, gain my courage, find the words I needed to say.

When I arrived at my destination, I was jittery and uncertain. Coffee and no food hadn’t helped, so I grabbed a quick sandwich at a small café. While I sat, I scrolled through some of the texts I’d ignoredfrom Ava. It was a jackass move to shut her out like that, but I couldn’t deal with the emotions that came with reading her words. But now, I read every one. The apologies. The explanations. The hard truths about me. She never got mean or petty; that wasn’t Ava. As hard as it was to read how she felt, it was also somewhat healing. Most of all it made me miss her, my heart clenching as I pictured her waking up to an empty bed. She’d given me everything that night, and I’d selflessly taken what I needed without concern for her. If that didn’t prove her love for me, I didn’t know what would.

What I did know was that Ava was the only woman for me, and it was time to make this right. Time to cleanse the poison keeping us apart, time to give myself to her completely.

Leaving the café, determination in my gut, I strode down the street with purpose. I arrived at my destination a few blocks later and knocked on the door.

When it opened moments later, she stood in the doorway, shock on her face.

I swallowed, mustered my courage, and said, “Hello, Mom.”

Chapter 37

Alex

My pulse quickened at the sight of my mother standing in front of me. Yes, I had seen her for a brief moment in Vegas when Ava and I were there, but I was so angry and caught off guard then. I hadn’t had a chance to take in her appearance. She looked older, of course, wrinkles around her eyes and mouth, but her hair was dyed blond, so I didn’t know if she would be showing gray yet.

We stared at each other for a few beats, and then my mother stuttered out, “Alex… What are you… I— Would you like to come in?” She opened the door wider and waited.

I stepped inside, saying as I passed her, “I’m sorry I didn’t call first.”

It seemed the right response when showing up unannounced, but it felt awkward to be so formal with the woman who gave birth to me.

Her house was small and an older model, probably twenty-five to thirty years old. But I could see it was nicely decorated as I guardedly swept my eyes around the room. My heart stuttered against my ribs when I saw a mantel full of pictures of me, some she could have only gotten from Ava or off the internet, but they were displayed like any other family’s portraits.

Behind me, she said, “Why don’t we sit out back?”

I glanced over my shoulder and watched as she moved into the kitchen area. I stayed in place, suddenly worried this might have been a mistake.

Almost as if she sensed it, she stopped and turned to me, her expression mirroring my feelings. Then, she lifted her mouth into a smile and said, “Can I get you something to drink? I have some fresh tea in the fridge.”

I drew in a breath of courage and replied, “That sounds good.”

From a distance I watched her go to the fridge and open the door, a quick flash of memory coming to mind of her getting my snackafter school.

As she pulled out glasses and then poured the tea, I took a few steps closer.

When she was done, she led me to the back patio, and we each took a seat at a white plastic table with matching chairs that had what appeared to be homemade cushions.

“How are you doing?” she said timidly.

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