Page 9 of We Never Kissed

“He asked my parents for their blessing. I guess they told Sammy too. They were excited…” I felt my face flush with embarrassment. “He never got the chance to ask.”

“Well, shit… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry?” His eyes darted around us as if he were seeing if anyone was listening. “Wait… What do you mean he didn’t get the chance to ask?”

My heart pounded so loudly in my chest I wondered if he could feel it against his own. “I broke it off.”

Alex sucked in a quick breath, pressing his chest harder into mine. “Oh… Well, I’m sorry, Ava.” He glanced away.

“You keep saying that. Are you really?” It was several long beats before I blew out a frustrated breath, and he returned his gaze to me.

“No.” He chuckled. “I’m not sorry. Is that what you want to hear?”

“Can we stop this, please? This is like six years ago all over again. I broke it off with Mark because I didn’t love him the way I knew two people should love each other. There was something missing. Just like there was with every other guy I’ve been with. You know what I’m saying, Alex?”

“Yes.” His breath grew heavy, and the emotion in his eyes was evident, but still he hesitated. “But…”

“But what? One of us needs to stop being so damn cryptic and spell this thing out.”

One side of his mouth turned up. “Go right ahead.”

“You ass,” I said, half playing half serious.

“We both know it’s not that simple. You, Sammy, your parents. You all mean…everything to me. You’re all I’ve got. I can’t fuck around with that.”

My heart felt like it was going to tear in half, like he was going to move us from this ten-year dance to closing the door forever. At the same time, I cared enough about him that I didn’t want anything bad to happen to him either. “So, what do we do? Keep living like this? Maybe instead of having a boyfriend, I could just be like you and jump from bed to bed with no feelings involved?” I regretted it as soon as the words came out. Just like six years ago, only slightly less childish. “I’m sorry,” I rushed to say.

“Trust me, I know how hard this is. And maybe if—”

“I’m moving back home,” I blurted.

His eyes widened with fear, and it was like a punch to the gut.God, is he so afraid of the possibility of us?

We stared at each other while I let him process that. I could tell the song was ending, and I wasn’t sure how it would look if we continued dancing. The thought of that alone made me realize Alex wasn’t the only one concerned about the implications of us being together.

“It’s a special night for your parents. Maybe this isn’t the time or the place…”

“You’re right.” My heart sank. It was a convenient excuse. “I shouldn’t have expected—” I cut my ownsentence off when I saw someone heading toward us just as the song was ending. Elsie walked up to us and said, “Hey, you two. Déjà vu.” She laughed and slipped a card into Alex’s pocket. “Thank you. Found my earring.” And then she walked away with a sly grin.

Panic in his eyes, Alex turned to me.

I shook my head. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

***

As I sat at a table, glaring a hole in Alex’s back, I sipped a glass of Champagne, feeling anything but bubbly. I knew I shouldn’t be pouting at my parents’ party, but I was giving myself until this glass was finished to get over it. After all, it wasn’t like I didn’t know exactly who Alex was.

Just as I downed the last sip, my phone alerted me of a text. I quirked a grin when I saw it was Gunnar, one of the only people who made me smile lately. Gunnar was like a brother, sister, and BFF all rolled into one. We both loved to dance and perform. We believed in giving back and volunteered together once a week at the food pantry. And we both secretly hatedThe Bachelor. It never bothered me that he commanded all the attention when we went out, his wardrobe much more stylish than my own, and his face resembling a runway model.

Gunnar:So, are we going to be homeless or did Mummy and Daddy come through?

Me:We’re in! But are you sure it won’t be too awkward for you?

Gunnar:Honey, I’ve lived in an all-boys school, stayed with my nana and her lover, and roomed with a bunch of strippers. I think I can handle Mr. and Mrs. All American.

I laughed because I was the one who played up my parents as perfect. And even though they’d been a bit hesitant for us to come and stay with them—albeit temporarily—I knew they’d welcome Gunnar with open arms. Plus, dance people were used to chaos and sharing bathrooms.

Me:They’re going to love you just like I do.

Gunnar:Bitch, don’t make me cry when you’re not here to hug me.

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