I ran a hand through my hair. “I don’t know how to say this, but I want you to know that what happened, what I’ve done, is all my fault. No one else’s. I’m the one whomessed everything up, so please remember that.” It was a small consolation for Ava but the truth nonetheless.
She gave me a tight smile, folded her arms across her chest. “Okay…”
I glanced around the room before looking her in the eyes again. “I was seeing someone…and well, it didn’t work out. But the thing is, I never should have been seeing her.” I shook my head at how ridiculous I was being. I should have taken the band-aid approach. “Shit, this is… She—”
“Alex…” She scooted her chair closer to me and leaned in. “I’m sorry. I know how much Ava means to you, but are you sure—”
“What?” My loud voice had her brows raising. “I’m sorry but what are you saying?”
She gave me one of those self-assured motherly looks. “Please, you think I didn’t see how you two have been all these years? I’m surprised it took you this long to get together.”
My jaw dropped as she spoke. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Why didn’t you?” She tilted her head. “You two didn’t want anyone to know so…I figured I’d wait until you were ready. I also figured something had happened between you two after the dinner the other night.”
My eyes pleaded for forgiveness. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”
“Except that you love her, right?”
Giving her a tight smile, I replied, “I’ve always loved Ava.”
She let a little chuckle out. “But now you’rein lovewith her.”
I nodded even though it wasn’t a question.
“So, you’re here… You might as well tell me all of it. What happened?”
I told her as quickly and painlessly as I could about Ava connecting with my mother behind my back, about our run-in while in Vegas, and about our fight. Then I said, “I feel like I can’t trust her anymore.”
She shook her head. “Do you really believe that, Alex? Or are you just hurt and angry because you feel like you can’t hide from this anymore?”
My mouth pursed, but I didn’t answer. We both knew.
She sighed. “Listen, I don’t condone what she did. But what she did was for you…because she loves you and because she knew you’d always have this fracture in your heart if you didn’t face your past. I’m not asking you to move on like nothing happened. But, honey, you’ve always had this piece of you that you guarded no matter how hard we all tried. A part of you that you…wouldn’t let us love. How can she love you completely if you are always holding something back?”
Sue was the one person I’d felt secure speaking to, andI didn’t think that had changed so I said, “I know. And I’ve thought a lot about it. I’m not blaming it all on her. But everything’s different now.”
“She messed up. But what you two have is too special, too strong to throw away.” She stared at me, and when I didn’t respond, she continued, “The question is, are you going to keep running from your past or acknowledge it? Because staying away from Ava isn’t going to make this go away. If and when you’re ready to deal with it, it’s Ava who’s going to help you through it.”
I shook my head and chuckled. “Damn, you are one wise woman.”
“I know.” She glanced at her watch. “And unfortunately, I need to get back.”
We both rose, and she gave me a hug. I held on longer than usual, but she let me linger until I was ready to pull away. Showing me one of those sweet smiles, she said, “Feel better?”
“Yeah…I actually do.” I bent and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Chapter 35
Ava
Squatting in front of my dad’s raised-up car, I pushed the pan back under the engine. “Is that far enough?” I called over my shoulder.
“You tell me,” he replied.