Page 54 of We Never Kissed

I nodded and headed down the hall, my shoulders feeling heavy with the weight that I’d already changed everything. I’d ruined family dinner, Alex’s relationship with my parents, with Sammy, and they didn’t even know it…yet.

I stood in the doorway to my dad’s den. Glasses perched on the edge of his nose, he was reading a magazine, something you rarely saw people do unless they were in a doctor’s office. It made me smile. And have some hope. My parents were good, smart people. I had to believe they wouldn’t hold any of this against Alex. Even if they didn’t, it still felt like Alex was pulling away. Maybe he no longer felt like this was his home.

“Dad,” I croaked out, startled at the sound of my own raspy voice.

Dad looked up, saw my face, and rose.

“Dinner’s ready,” I said, trying to hang on to my composure. Just looking at my dad when I was upset could cause the dam to break.

“And it looks that bad?” he said with a chuckle,coming over to me. He slipped an arm around my shoulders. “You all right, honey?”

Shit.

“Yeah,” I said quickly.

“Don’t tell me you miss him already?”

My heart skipped a beat, eyes widening. “What?”

“Gunnar. Just thought you might be having trouble in the new place without him.”

“Oh…” I let out a sigh.

“But he’s coming back soon, right?” He head-gestured to the hall, and we started walking.

“Yeah, soon…” When I thought about it, he was right. I did need Gunnar. He’d offered to come home early when I told him what happened, but I made him promise not to cut his family time short.

We all took our seats at the table and began filling up our plates. I couldn’t help but eye the empty spot where Alex was supposed to be. Maybe he just needed some time… The thought of us not being together was hard enough to bear, but there was no way I could accept him not being part of our family.

Moments later, I heard the door open, and my heart stuttered against my ribs. My eyes were glued to the doorway as his footsteps drew closer. When he came around the corner, my mother jumped up to greet him.

She wrapped him in a hug, and his eyes cut to mineover her shoulder. I swallowed back the lump in my throat, seeing the pain in his eyes. Mom’s smile when she pulled back was like salt in the wound. They really did love him like a son, and I couldn’t take that away from any of them. Somehow I would make it right.

“I can’t stay,” Alex said quickly. His eyes panned around the table as he held up a bag. “I’m just dropping off dessert.”

I watched as his eyes darted to Sammy and then back to my mom.

“You didn’t have to go to the trouble,” she said, taking the bag from his hands.

“Yes he did,” Sammy blurted.

All eyes went to Sammy.

“Babe,” Cass said tightly.

“What? He gets here late and then doesn’t even stay…” Sammy dug into the cheddar mash potatoes, taking a huge scoop over to his plate. Then began eating as if we weren’t all questioning his behavior.

“Ignore him,” Mom said, patting the lapel of Alex’s suit jacket. “Thank you for bringing dessert. But listen, did you call Uncle Jo yet?”

Alex winced. “I’m sorry I haven’t had a chance…”

Sammy huffed under his breath. Dad, oblivious to the tension, just continued to eat his dinner.

“It’s all right, but please do it soon. He’s not trying toget money from you. He says he just wants advice on whether or not it’s a good investment.”

Alex smiled down at my mother, but I could see how forced it was. He was in pain and needed his family, and because of me he couldn’t let them comfort him. “I promise. I’ll call him next week.” He nodded, then added, “Now get back to your dinner. I’m going to head back out.” Without looking at anyone but my mom, he turned to go.

As I watched him walk away, my heart cracked, but I fought the emotion. I couldn’t fall apart at the table. I wasn’t ready to explain things just yet. I sensed myself slipping into despair as I reached for my water and took a sip. Then I felt Cass’s hand on my other arm under the table. She gave it a gentle squeeze, and I turned to her. She showed me a soft, knowing look.She knows, which means Sammy knows. So, my brother was pissed at me and clearly Alex, too, but Cass had no judgment on her face, and that was the only thing keeping me from losing it. I gave her a grateful smile, then spent the rest of the dinner in my head, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to make things right.

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