Page 2 of We Never Kissed

Why did you have to open your mouth about Ava? The truth was complicated. I rarely let myself consciously think of Ava, and yet she always seemed to be on my mind. Like she had a lifetime lease in a little corner office in my brain. “Nothing,” I said, and upon seeing the skeptical look on her face, I added, “Seriously… That’s the problem.”

“Unrequited love?”

“Not exactly.” I blew out a breath. “Hell, I don’t know. Maybe it is. But, with Ava it’s more like…” I searched for the answer in the pool of red wine swirling in the glass I held. “Unexplored…”

She smiled. “Even better.”

“I don’t see how.” All I knew was that for as long as I could remember, there was this pull that kept me tetheredto Ava and all the memories we’d shared together. I had to constantly convince myself we were like family, and that was the reason. But every time I was around her, my heart raced like a freaking freight train, and I could say with one hundred percent certainty that never happened around anyone in my family, what little there was of it.

Lauren flagged the waiter with a head bump and a smile. “I’m going to need more information to respond to that one.”

We ordered coffee, and I briefly pondered trying to salvage sex tonight, but we both knew it was off the table. Surprisingly, I didn’t hesitate to share my story with Lauren. It was one that needed a voice and was long overdue. Maybe I could talk my way out of Ava before I actually ran into her in person. So, I settled into my chair and started, “She was my best friend’s little sister…”

“Now we’re talking,” Lauren said, her expression delighted. “Only one of the most popular romance book tropes.”

“Great, I’m a cliché.” I shook my head but still managed to chuckle at myself. The truth was the truth.

“I’m sorry, continue.” She made a flourish with her arm.

“I remember walking into their house after playing basketball with some friends, and there she was. Sammy and I had just started hanging out, but we hit itoff immediately. There weren’t any instant fireworks or anything between Ava and me. In fact, I distinctly remember her sneering at me from behind the kitchen counter.”

“Okay, this love story is going downhill fast.” Lauren rolled her eyes, like I was a huge disappointment.

I was lucky she hadn’t walked out with my admission about Ava in the first place. “You do realize we were just kids at the time, right? I was probably fifteen then. Maybe sixteen.”

She waved a hand at me. “Fine, fine, then get to the good stuff. The sparks, like when did you guys get together?”

My frustration level was growing by the minute. Did she want to know about me, or was she just looking for some juicy story she could share by the water cooler? “Like I said before, we were never together.” I shook my head, thinking of all the time we’d spent together over the years, how natural and right it all felt but at the same time, I just…couldn’t. I had never been good enough for Ava, anyway, even if I felt it was all right to pursue her. “We grew close over time, but I went off to college, we lived our own lives, and each time we saw each other this…thing between us became more intense. It was like we were in a relationship that neither of us wanted to acknowledge.” We also had these sort of ticks of time where we were texting, flirting, dancing around the thing between us. Typically, it was right after she stopped seeing someone. One of us would eventually stop answering until we started up again like no time had passed.

Lauren was shaking her head at me, so I stopped.

When she didn’t say anything, I said, “What?”

“Sex.”

“What about it?”

She leaned forward and rested her elbows on the table. “Alex…from what I know about you, and granted it isn’t much, substantially speaking, Ava is like the ultimate prize. You love the chase. And it sounds like this has been a long one, about fifteen years, so just do it already, and that will probably solve everything.”

I huffed.Please don’t let her be right. I mean it was entirely possible given my track record, but... “No. You’re way off base.”

“How do you figure?”

I picked up my half-drank coffee and sipped the luke-warm liquid. “Let’s just say I had some…chances at that. I could have had her—” I cut myself off, finding it difficult to even speak of Ava like she was some sort of business deal I was trying to close. But I needed to get this out, and I somehow valued Lauren’s opinion, especially given how forthcoming she’d been. So, I started again. “Ava came to visit Sammy and me at college. She’d just graduated high school, almost eighteen. We’d had a party at our place, and Sammy let her drink, thinking he’d keep an eye on her.” I paused, not enjoying the thought of how innocent she was back then. “I was about to hook up with this sorority girl”—Lauren rolled her eyes, but I continued—“but when I got back to my room, Ava was there.”

“In your room?” Her eyes were wide; she was fully invested in this story.

“Yeah. She was so drunk. And she was wearing one of my shirts.”Fuck, seeing her like that…Said someone spilled beer on her. Anyway, I got rid of the girl, thinking I better keep an eye on Ava. Nothing happened, but Sammy came in later and damn near tore me a new one.”

“Ooh, protective brother. He single?” Her eyes lit up.

“Married.”

“Figures.”

I didn’t tell Lauren how we had lain on my bed, Ava’s head resting on my chest, my arm draped around her and me feeling like I had a national treasure under my wing that I’d protect with my life. It was in that moment, I knew I was screwed. “Anyway… What the hell was I saying?” I ran a hand through my hair. “This seems pointless. I appreciate you listening, but—”

“Wait a minute.” She held up her hands, palms facing me. “Give me some credit, here. I’ve got this all figuredout.”

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