Page 16 of We Never Kissed

“Don’t tell me about my feelings, Alex. You can’t even manage your own.”

The woman must have known some English because I caught a smirk before she turned away.

“I know.” He shook his head, his face wrecked in desperation. “It can’t be shitty between us, Ava. Please, just say you forgive me so things can go back to the way they were.”

Yeah, because things were so freaking great before. What choice did I have? Alex was part of our family. He was Sammy’s best friend. We all had history you don’t just forget about and move on. I pulled my lips under my teeth and stared at him.Dammit, I couldn’t lose this man no matter what was or wasn’t between us. So, I said the only thing I could. “Okay.”

Chapter 9

Alex

Present Day

Her lips were so close to mine it wouldn’t take much to close the distance, to finally capture her mouth and show her everything I had been wanting. Everything I prayed she wanted too. I had fought it for so long I felt paralyzed as I wrestled with my decision. Just staring into her dark eyes tore me up inside. It was Ava, for God’s sake. The perfect woman. The perfect woman for me. But at the same time, all I wanted to do was protect her…and maybe that meant protecting her from me.

The thought grated against my desire for her.Why can’t I have her, dammit?

I knew the reason, but I was quickly losing the battle. And when Ava reached up on her toes, snapping me back to her, it was all the motivation I needed. I bent to meet her, pressing my lips against hers, my palm brushing over her cheek as I slipped my other arm around her waist, pulling her closer. Her eager mouth moved in perfect synchronicity with mine, as if we’d done this thousands of times—and yet it felt like I’d never kissed anyone before. Her arms snaked around my neck, one hand caressing the back of my neck.

It only took seconds before her lips parted for me, and I deepened the kiss, hearing a quiet moan escape her. All other thoughts left me as I reveled in the moment, and we both instinctively pulled at each other to get closer, yearning for more. It was everything I’d dreamed of and more.

But an untimely cough behind me had us pulling apart.

“I, uh, I’m sorry to interrupt…”

I turned to find the captain standing there. He glanced at his watch. “I can give you a few more minutes…”

“Thank you.” I waited for him to go back to the cockpit before I faced Ava again. “That was unfortunate,” I said somewhat awkwardly. My heart was still racing, and my eyes whipped down to Ava’s mouth for just a beat before making eye contact again. We’d just had somethingmomentous interrupted, and I was already feeling a sense of loss. I wanted to touch her, hold her. Would I ever get to again? She was still standing right there, but it felt like she was miles away.

Ava only nodded at my comment, so I had no idea what she was thinking. Did she regret it? Or maybe she was waiting for me to take the lead on the whole “us” situation. Instead of doing that, I took her hand in mine and gazed at her.Say something, you coward.

Giving me a slim smile, she said, “You don’t have to say anything.” She squeezed my hand. “We don’t have to jump into anything either.”

Was she giving me an out or was that coming from her gut?

“I know. I just…” I was flailing, and she knew it by the look on her face. I wasn’t prepared for this. Never thought this dream would come true.

Seeming to read my mind, she said, “Look, Alex, it took us fifteen years to have a first kiss…”

“So, what are you saying? We should wait another fifteen years to get to heavy petting?”

She laughed, and instinctively I dove in and pressed my mouth to the corner of hers. I was already taking liberties I shouldn’t, especially if I couldn’t back them up with the right words. I was so fucked. “Thatdoesn’t count as number two.” I smirked. “Seriously, what are you saying? Where do we go from here?”

“Let’s not overthink it. We both know what this is.”

We do?

“But, Alex, I have to go and end one life so I can start a new one.” She pulled the bag back onto her shoulder that had fallen off when I kissed her. “And I’m going to have Gunnar with me when I get back.”

Hearing his name, despite what she’d said about him, put me on high-alert. “Yeah, speaking of that guy, are you sure—”

“Seriously, he’s like a brother to me.”

I quirked a brow at her, pointing out the irony. “Really?”

“You know what I mean. Let’s just say Gunnar really loves fruit, like every kind of fruit. Even peaches. But his favorite is banana, see?” She showed me an adorable grin as she moved past me.

I grabbed her arm to stop her. “You said we don’t have to jump into anything. What if I want to jump…?”What the hell are you saying? Ava and I together, like really together, was one of my biggest fears. I knew I’d screw it up, and where would that leave me? I’d practically be an orphan. I ran a hand through my hair, knowing I was already screwing this thing up.

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