Page 52 of Protector

I let out a defeated sigh. “Guess it was a dumb idea.”

“No, it wasn’t,” he says with a firm tone. “We need to figure this thing out…and we will, but it just might take…” Brooks releases my hand and puts both his on the steering wheel, moves into the right lane. “We’re almost there.”

After waiting a full minute for him to finish his thought, I turn my body to face him. “Just say it.”

“No, it was nothing. It’s just going to take time.”

“Bull. I know what you’re thinking.”

“What’s that?”

“Tonight was the closest we came to finding out who this psycho is—”

“Too close. Have you thought about what might have happened if I didn’t stick around?”

“Yes, I have,” I say simply, no anger in my tone. “But that’s exactly why I know you’ll keep me safe. Because you…” I scoot closer on the bench seat, despite my seatbelt, and lean into his beefy shoulder, rest the side of my head on it. “You know how to take care of me, Brooks. I trust you.”

“Look.” Brooks’s booming voice startles me, and I lift my head and stare at him wide-eyed. “Sorry,” he says softly. “But I’m not looking for a medal of honor here. I just need to keep you alive. And, yes, you being accessible to him is one way to draw him out, but I can’t think about that right now. We need this time to regroup, away from everyone and everything. I can’t afford another mistake.”

As I gaze up at Brooks’s profile in the dim light of the truck, something slips into my heart and squeezes until my breathing becomes labored. His face, those last words he uttered, why does it sound like he’s not just talking about tonight. I reach up and place my palm on his cheek. “What mistake?” I whisper.

He shakes his head and keeps his gaze straight ahead.

“Please, Brooks, if it affects me, don’t I deserve to know?”

He’s quiet for so long, I drop my hand and move back over to where I was.

Finally, he says, “Six years ago, I was doing security for a…let’s just say a family visiting from abroad. Really it was a single mother with two young children, so she felt the added security was needed. I led a security team of three, and well, long story short, I got somewhat attached to the family in their short time here.”

He glances over at me, and I must have shown something in my expression because he rushes to add, “Nothing romantic…just…I cared about them, especially the kids.”

My heart clenches just hearing his regretful tone, but I don’t say a word. Just listen as he continues.

“I can’t say for sure, but there was a lot going on, and I felt torn…confused at times. My judgment felt off. There was an altercation while I had the kids, one of my men had her. The woman was shot.”

“Oh my God, did she…”

“It was superficial, and she made a full recovery, but in those first few moments, seeing her down under my watch, I’ll never forget that feeling as long as I live.”

No matter what Brooks says, I know in my heart he did everything he could. “You can’t blame yourself.”

“I was in charge, Shay. I do blame myself.”

I know arguing won’t make a difference, so I don’t say anymore. Not even the realization that this is why he’s pushed me away, tried to keep his distance. He’s worried that caring about me will cause me to get hurt…or worse.

Brooks takes the offramp, and before long we’re rolling down narrow roads with overhanging trees and intermittent dirt side roads leading into darkness. And when we eventually take one of those seemingly unmarked lanes, and the terrain turns bumpy, the sound of tiny pebbles skimming the underside of the truck, I finally ask, “Where are we?” Of course, I watched the signs on the highway and saw where we got off, so I know we’re somewhere in Fallbrook, but that’s all.

Brooks maneuvers the truck around a curved incline, and then we’re only going straight for a minute or two before the truck comes to a stop. He kills the lights so fast I barely get a chance to take note of what’s in front of us. Even with the lights off, though, I can make out the large cabin about thirty yards in front of us.

Pulling the keys from the ignition, he shoots me a look. “I’ll get the bags.”

I put my hand over his. “Not so fast.”

He pauses all movement and watches me.

“I said I trusted you. I didn’t say I wouldn’t ask any questions.”

One corner of his mouth turns up, but before he can say anything, I move closer, cup the side of his neck with my hand and tug him closer until his mouth is next to mine. “Before you tell me where we are and what we’re doing here, I just want to say thank you.” I press a soft kiss to his lips. “I should have said it sooner. And no matter what you say, Brooks, you care about me. And it’s no use fighting it because now it’s stronger than you.”

---