Page 66 of Protector

All it took was for me to utter his name, look deep into his eyes, and then try to speak before he knew what was coming. He covered my mouth with his, silencing me before making his own plea to me. Except it wasn’t what I’d expected or hoped for.

“Please, baby, don’t…”

I opened my mouth to speak again, but nothing came out.

“I know,” he told me. “Fuck, I know. But tomorrow I need my head on straight. I have to focus on keeping you safe, and I can’t make any mistakes.”

“I trust you,” I whispered, a tear sliding down the side of my face. “So, why can’t—”

His head shaking stopped me. I understood. I have to remember his life is in jeopardy just as much as mine is. I ran my hand down his face. “I’m sorry, Brooks. It’s just so hard to keep this inside.”

“It’s hard for me too. And when this is all over, we can say all the things that need saying.”

I literally felt a painful ache in my chest, the urge to free my heart, as if the words themselves would give me some relief. But thinking about it now, I know part of that relief is hearing him say it back, finally knowing he feels for me as deeply as I feel for him. So I said the only thing I knew I could say. “Then make love to me, Brooks.”

Not only was it earth-shattering and beautiful, but every time throughout the night I startled and woke up, his arm pulled me tighter into his side, and I fell back asleep.

Now, as I watch his eyes flutter open, I thank God for bringing him into my life.

“Good morning,” I say, greeting him with a smile.

He mirrors me but only for a moment, before his face goes to stone. “We better get moving. Long day.”

I ignore my first reaction and remind myself this is how Brooks needs to be today. I’m sure somewhere in the back of his mind, he’s worried history will repeat itself, and something will happen to me like that woman he was protecting. It’s probably not a good idea to bring it up, to reassure him, so I simply nod and get up to dress. “Mom said she’d have breakfast for us…”

“I’m fine. I want to check in with Souza before we go, meet his guy.”

Another thing that has him stressed, I’m sure. Having to rely on other security detail at the show because Brooks can’t be with me every second. There’s too much moving around, coming and going to and from the stage, changing. “No worries. I’ll be ready. Meet you at the house?” I lift my brows casually, as if today is just another day. This will be the first show for Brooks, and I don’t think he knows what he’s in for. Even without the threat of the stalker, show day is long and chaotic, to say the least.

“Yeah, I’m right behind you.”

Brooks is on high alert the moment we arrive at the event. Of course, it’s hours before the show, but that doesn’t mean Aaron won’t try something at this time instead of waiting for the show. There’s so much prep, moving around, waiting to get hair and makeup from the dozens of stylists here; the chaos could be a good chance for someone to slip in unnoticed. The hardest part for Brooks will be the actual dressing because no one is allowed there but the models and the dressers.

“I want to check in with their security, make sure they have all the information, but I won’t leave until your mom comes back.”

Though we are surrounded by people, he cups my elbow and lets his chin touch the top of my head, as if he needs the physical connection. I notice it calms me as well, as I loosen my grip on my cell phone. I keep thinking any momenthe’sgoing to make contact. The last I heard from him was a text the day before yesterday, making it clear he’d be very disappointed if I did the show.Like I give a fuck about your disappointment.I typed it out and was about to hit send when Brooks stopped me.

When my mom walks up with the show director, they both give me that look, like I’m going to fall apart or something. Instead of getting angry, I hold my head up, smile, and introduce Brooks. I know he’s chomping at the bit to check every inch of this place, so after he exchanges a quick handshake with Victor, he’s gone.

“You good, Shay?”

I nod. “Fine. Everything’s going to be fine. This is all just a precaution.”

“Shay’s right,” Mom says, always ready to smooth out the wrinkles in any situation. “We don’t want you to be concerned. You have enough to worry about, Victor.”

He waves his hands around and gives a chuckle. “Being prepared is what these shows are all about. Don’t worry, darlings…” He gives me a quick hug and says, “Now settle in and then be fabulous.”

Mom shadows me for the next few hours, which seem to creep by unimaginably slow. Brooks continues to check in with me in between checking the area and staying on top of all the other security there.

The closer we get to show time, the more my nerves crank up. And though everyone around me is pumped, taking selfies, posting on social media, and generally seeming to be in a good mood, I’m heading in the opposite direction. Anger seeps in at how Aaron has ruined this moment for me when I vowed I wouldn’t let it affect me. I know this reaction will make it harder on Brooks, so each time he comes back to check on me, I put on the brave face. By the time I get into the makeup chair, my stomach is in knots, my skin is overheating.

The makeup artist stops and kneels in front of me. “Work with me, honey, you’re scowling.”

I glance in the mirror, my eyes widening. “Shit, sorry.” I take a few deep breaths, look over at my mom, who pretends to be on her phone, but I know she sees what’s happening.

Lisa hands me a bottle of water. “Here, try this. A few sips, now.”

“Thanks,” I say after a small drink. The bit of cold helps, but I realize I’ve had nothing to eat. Though most of us follow strict diets leading up to the show, they don’t want anyone passing out, so they’ve got food and snacks for us.

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