Page 33 of Protector

I have to pause a moment and look away to get myself under control. When I turn back to him, I say, “I’m serious, Brooks. You know I can’t stand the thought of this situation causing anyone I care about harm.”Dammit. I drop my gaze when I realize what I’ve just said, then turn to stare toward the window. “Don’t you have…people for this sort of thing?”

“Yeah, sure.” He huffs and then takes a deep breath, like he needs to calm himself too. For what reason, I can’t say for sure. Then his hand lands flat on my back, rubbing up and down. “Do you want to go to the police? File a report? I’m not pressuring you, just asking. And I’ll be there for whatever you need.”

As truly wonderful as his supportive words are, as glorious as his hand feels on me, my stomach sinks at his words, and I slouch over, wrap my arms around my knees and fight the tears.

There’s a few beats of silence, Brooks either giving me time or not knowing quite what to say. Finally, he sits up next to me. “What is it?”

I shake my head. “I—can’t.”

There’s that hand again, sweet torture ripping through me as it creeps up to the column of my neck. “Do you want to be alone?”

My head snaps to look at him. “No, please… It’s just, I guess I’m worried what you think of me.”

His brows meet in the middle. “What do you mean? Wasn’t I clear before? None of what happened is your fault.”

I don’t know why this means so much to me, but my blurred vision tells me I have to know what he’s thinking. “I don’t mean that. I know you didn’t want to take this job, and it seems like the more you learn about me, the less you probably think of me.”

Brooks’s mouth parts, but I’m afraid of what he’ll say, so I rush out to add, “Hopefully, this will all be over soon, and you can be rid of me.”

He scoffs. “Is that what you really think? Have I treated you—”

“No. You’ve been great. But…” I avert my eyes, afraid of what I’ll see in his steady gaze.

“Shay, look at me.” His rough hand brushes my cheek, and I turn to him. “I think you’re an amazing woman. You’re smart and kind and so much more than I think you even choose to believe about yourself.”

His words, along with the desperate tone of his voice, sink right into my heart, and I manage a half-smile. I wrap my hand around his wrist to make sure it doesn’t fall from my cheek. “I thought you saw me as an immature pain in the ass.”

One side of his mouth quirks up. “I do… But it only adds to that magical mixture that makes you, you.”

I let out a little laugh and lean into him playfully. “Thank you for saying that.” When his eyes bounce from mine, down to my mouth, then back to my eyes again, the smile drops from both of our faces. My heart thrums a steady staccato.

As if frozen in time, we both just breathe against each other. In this moment all the stress and pain I was feeling fall away, then morph into this deep longing to have his mouth pressed against mine.Oh, God, how I want this man.

Brooks leans forward, his lips a breath away. “Shay,” he whispers against my lips. Then, as if reading my deepest desire, “God, I want—” But then he pulls back slightly, runs his thumb over my bottom lip, my heart pumping heat through my entire body, fear settling in. “I…can’t.”

His forehead dips against mine for only a moment before he falls away, leans his back against the headboard of the bed, staring up at the ceiling, looking as if he’s in physical pain. “You know we can’t,” he says firmly when I wedge in next to him.

I lick my lips, ignoring his words, waiting for his eyes to meet mine again.

“Fuck, Shay, no. Don’t you know how hard this is for me? How hard it’s been—”

I gasp at the revelation that he’s been struggling just as much as I have.

Leaning over, I brace my hands against his chest, press my face close to his. “It doesn’t have to be,” I whisper and brush my lips against his.

His chest heaves beneath my touch. “Shay…” His tone is a warning, but I can’t seem to stop myself.

“Please, Brooks, I need you.”

He turns his head to the side, and I can see him fighting an internal battle. “Not only have you been drinking…”

I let out a sigh. “This isn’t the freaking prom, Brooks. I know what I’m doing.”

“Maybe so, but I’m supposed to be protecting you from harm, not…”

“God, I trust you. Don’t you know that by now?” I take his face in my hands and turn him to look at me. “Don’t you want me?” His heavy breathing, not to mention the physical response from his body I can feel against the thigh I hefted over him, give me the answer he won’t say. “Please don’t tell me it’s the age thing. I’m a grown woman.”

His dark eyes peer into mine. “Trust me. I know. But what you’re feeling…might only be because—”

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