Page 78 of Fire

She expected him to say in an accident with a drunk driver or a home invasion gone wrong. What she wasn’t expecting were the words that came out of his mouth next.

“By me.”

She must have made some sort of sound because he looked back at her, but it wasn’t pain she saw in his eyes, it was relief mixed with uncertainty.

Relief at finally telling her? Maybe.

Uncertainty from what her reaction might be? Probably.

What was she feeling? She wasn’t sure at that moment, but was he capable of murder? She didn’t think so. There had to be more to the story.

“I don’t believe that.”

He stood then, putting distance between them by walking around the coffee table.

“Believe it.” He speared her with his eyes. “You saw me tonight. I would’ve killed that guy if you hadn’t stopped me. I’m more than capable of it.”

Her mind flashed to back at the club. Dillan on the floor, Blake over him, his hand wrapped around Dillan’s throat. She remembered the fury that had transformed Blake’s features—his blazing eyes, gritted teeth, snarling lips, clenched jaw. But under all that, she also saw his control.

He was always in control.

Gwen shook her head. “You would’ve stopped yourself.”

His gaze was contemptuous. “Keep fooling yourself. Better for me.”

She ignored the look and his words. They were getting off topic. She wanted to get back to his parents. She had a feeling they were the root of most of their problems. “How do youthinkyou killed your parents.”

His lips thinned into a smirk as he studied her, shaking his head. “I know what you’re thinking. You’re trying to romanticize or justify my actions in your head. You think it was an accident that I blame myself for or it was self-defense, but you’d be wrong.”

She stood, wanting to go to him, but he stopped her with a single look. She plopped back down on the couch, shaking her head. “No, you’re wrong. I’m not thinking anything until you tell me what happened.” But that wasn’t entirely true. He’d been right, she’d been thinking exactly that.

“For the past sixteen years, I’ve worked hard to rebuild my life. I’m in complete control of everything that concerns me. And then you came along, tipping everything I’ve worked so hard for on its axis.” He added more space between them, walking to the fireplace mantel and giving her his back. “It wasn’t supposed to be like that. You were supposed to be like all the others—inconsequential after I fucked you.”

She cringed. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because I want you to understand what you mean to me. My life has been a living hell without you.” Anguish filled his tone, and she wished she could see his face. She could see his hands, gripping the mantel until his knuckles were white. “I can’t lose you again, but I’m afraid once I reveal who I really am—what I’m capable of—that’s exactly what’s going to happen.”

“I know who you are.”

He turned to gauge her reaction. She would try to shield her emotions, but he’d read the truth in her eyes. “You’ve only seen what I’ve wanted you to.”

As he expected, she kept her expression blank, but a flicker of uncertainty filled her gaze before she blinked it away.

He hadn’t been exactly truthful when he’d told her he didn’t know where to start. He could start at the beginning like all stories should be. But he hesitated because he knew by its end, she would either be disgusted, or he’d have her sympathy. Neither of which he wanted from her.

All he wanted was her love, and sadly, that was the one thing he didn’t deserve.

She was shaking her head, wanting to refute his words, but she couldn’t bring herself to vocalize a denial. He didn’t blame her. The unknown was scary. He did see fear in her eyes, but surprisingly, he also saw resolve. She was braced to listen but to do so with an open mind.

He hadn’t thought it possible to love Gwen more, but he’d been wrong.

And he did love her.

He wasn’t sure when it had happened. When he’d lost her and realized how truly important she was to him? The first time they’d had sex? The first time she’d made him laugh? Hell, it could have been when he’d first laid eyes on her. But thewhendidn’t matter because ithadhappened. She’d stolen his heart when he thought there wasn’t one left to take.

And now, all he had to do was share a piece of his soul, and she might be his forever. Seemed simple, but he knew it was anything but. Because he could also, just as easily, lose her.

He closed the distance between them and held out a hand. “Maybe it’s better if I do a little show before the tell.”

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