Page 5 of Touchdown

He reaches for my hand, but I yank it back. “Don’t touch me! How dare you even look at me?”

“Cody, we’ve been together for seven years. That has to mean something, right?”

“YOU WOULD THINK SO, WOULDN’T YOU?! AND YET, HERE WE ARE!”

“We can talk ab—”

“The time for talking is done, Zack! Get out! Get the fuck out! I never want to see your face again!”

Zack gets a sly look in his eyes that I don’t like at all. “Well, perhaps you don’t have to see my face. Why don’t you bend me over the side of the bed and teach me a lesson? You know that make-up sex is always hotter than any other sex.”

This, more than anything else, solidifies in my mind what I need to do. If Zack really thinks we can fixthiswith make-up sex, then there truly is no way to save this relationship.

I point at the door. “Out, Zack, before I call the police.”

“You’ll change your mind, sooner or later. You need me, Cody.”

I hate that he’s right. Given what I just saw, I wish I could turn my feelings off, but I can’t. I’m still in love with Zack. Clearly, he doesn’t need me as much as I need him, as much as I thought he did.

“Get out,” I repeat. I’ll have to find some way to pull my life together without Zack, but for now, all I want is him gone.

Zack grumbles under his breath about how this is a mistake, but he packs his things anyway and leaves.

I expect to receive calls and texts begging for forgiveness, but there’s just… nothing.

If he’s waiting for me to come asking for him back, he’s going to be waiting a fucking long time.

I shake myself slightly as I come out of the memory. Putting myself back together after Zack broke my heart was… Well, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I don’t even know if I can truly say that I’ve done it, because I still feel broken every time I think of him.

Sure, I’m functioning, but I’m hardly thriving.

One thing is for sure, I can’t afford to take another wound like the one Zack left me with. I won’t survive it.

That means never falling for anyone ever again.

Unfortunately, I know myself. I can’t control my feelings when sex is involved. That means that if I want to protect myself, it means no more sex, ever. The thought of remaining celibate forever is not an appealing one, but it’s something I’ve had to get my head around.

I’ve bought a lot of toys and looked up some great porn. I’ll manage. What I can’t manage is having my heart torn to shreds like that ever again.

Everything was going well until I met Luke Hardy. Sex is easy enough to resist when you don’t have someone who looks like a literal sex god on your own fucking team. He is all dark hair, dark eyes and super tan muscles. He has that moody dark dangerous look. I just know he is dangerous for me. He is exactly my type. If I’d met Luke Hardy before I signed for this team, I would have changed my mind.

Sometimes, I wish I didn’t know myself and my own reactions as well as I do, but most unfortunately, I know that I won’t be able to resist Luke for long. Sooner or later, I will give in to my lust and make a move on him.

There is only one way to stop this from ending in disaster. I need to make sure to alienate him in every way possible between now and then. Make him despise me so much that he is disgusted by my very presence. I don’t even know if he’s interested in men, but if he is, I’m going to make myself sounappealing to him that he’d rather masturbate in a dumpster than sleep with me.

Of course, this strategy is filled with flaws, but it’s the best I can come up with right now. Brandon is sure to have questions, and I’ll need to figure out answers to those questions, or at least some good evasion tactics.

He’s also right about one thing—I can’t let this affect the team. That wouldn’t be fair on anyone. I’ll need to treat Luke Hardy neutrally on the field. Not normally, because normally, I’d be friendly with my teammates. But neutral will suffice, I think.

Off the field, though, I’m going to make myself his worst nightmare. It’s the only way to protect myself.

I spend the evening feeling sorry for myself and arrive early to practice the next day. I realize within the first couple of seconds that this is a mistake and very nearly turn around and walk right back out of the locker room when I see Luke approaching me.

“Cody, I was hoping to run into you. Can we talk?”

“No,” I snap. “Leave me alone.”

Luke folds his arms. “Look, I don’t know what your problem with me is, but we’re going to have to figure it out sooner or later. We’re on the same team. I know you haven’t been here long, but surely you must realize that Brandon will step in sooner or later?”

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