Page 31 of Touchdown

“This isLukewe’re talking about! He’s the most loyal person we know. Do you seriously think he’d betray you? Give me five good reasons you have to suspect that he would.”

I open my mouth to reply but close it again. Brandon is right; I have no reason to suspect Luke would betray me.

“I didn’t think Zack would betray me, either.”

“Zack isn’t Luke. If you spend your life comparing them, then one day you will look back and realize that you threw away the best thing that ever happened to you. By then, it may be too late, so I’m here to tell you now that you need to act before it gets to that stage.”

“I… I can’t, Brandon. Thank you for trying. You’re a good friend, and I appreciate you. I just… I can’t.”

“I know you’re scared, Cody, and I get it. You’ve been hurt badly in the past, but honestly, do you want to feel like this forever?”

“I won’t. Time heals all wounds, right?”

Brandon shakes his head sadly. “Not all wounds. If you lose the love of your life… there’s no coming back from that. My father died when I was ten and I watched my mother die inside ever since. Her heart left with him.”

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Brandon. I didn’t know that.”

“It’s not a story I share with many people. My point is, if you do this, Cody, you’ll never recover from it. I don’t want to see the light slowly go from your eyes until there’s nothing left. You have to move past your fears.”

“I don’t know how. I want to, but I don’t know how.”

“Trust Luke. Every time you think about Zack, just tell yourself that this isn’t the same. This is Luke we’re talking about, not Zack. I know that fear is like a bottomless pit, but sometimes the only way out of that pit is to dive headfirst into it and swim to the other side.”

Maybe he’s right. What I’m doing now isn’t working. I’m alive, but I’m not living.

“Luke will never forgive me. I promised him that I wouldn’t run and that’s exactly what I did.”

“Then you need to convince him to forgive you. Oh, and go see your therapist again!”

I’ve never been so nervous, not even when I was waiting to hear whether I would be taken on by the very first agent of my career. My hands are shaking and I quickly fold them in front of me.

Apparently, it took a lot of convincing to get Luke to come to the fancy restaurant with the rest of the team. I get it. If I wasn’t the one behind the whole thing, I wouldn’t have wanted to come either. Luke and I have both been isolating and mopey since the breakup, which probably isn’t good for either of us, but I suppose we’ll be rectifying that problem soon.

At least, I hope we will.

Luke picks at his food and doesn’t really participate in the conversation. Did I look that pitiful as well? No wonder Brandonintervened. I barely eat either. My stomach is too filled with butterflies to put much else in it.

Finally, dessert arrives. Luke looks up in surprise as the waiter hands him a slice of cake. “I didn’t order—what?”

Luke is staring at the bright engagement ring wedged into the top of the slice of cake. The waiter quickly retreats, and I take his place, going to one knee in front of Luke.

The live band I hired shuffles closer and starts playing softly. Luke’s eyes widen as he watches me.

I his hands in mind. “Luke, I was a fool. I ran because I was scared, something I promised to never do. I let you down—I let us both down—but I want to make things right. I want to build a life with you. I can’t promise that I’m healed, because I’m not. I’m still damaged. I still have fears. But most of all, I need you, Luke. I want to marry you, and I know in my bones that you will never betray me. If you say yes, I promise that I’ll never run again, that I’ll stay and talk it with you. I know I haven’t held to that promise in the past, but I’m asking you to give me another chance to prove myself to you. Luke, will you marry me?”

Luke stares into my eyes for a few endless seconds. I don’t know what he’s looking for there, but I stare back at him, baring my soul, willing him to read the sincerity and love I feel.

“Yes. We have stuff to work through, but I want you more than anything in the world, Cody. Together, we can make this work. Yes, of course, I’ll marry you.”

There is no trace of fear in me as I take the ring out of the cake, wipe it off and put it on Luke’s finger.

Luke grabs me by the shirt and pulls me practically into his lap. Our lips meet in a soft kiss. I wrap my arms around him, leaning into the kiss, wishing it would never end.

It finally does when Brandon loudly clears his throat and we pull apart.

“Now that you two have finally gotten your heads out of your asses, let’s celebrate!”

I laugh and pull my chair around the table so that I can sit next to Luke. I’m never leaving his side again, and with the way Luke wraps his arm around me, I don’t think he’ll have any problem with that.

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