Page 26 of Puck Me

“Did it… did it feel like this for you?”

“Depression is different for everyone, but there are some threads that are common in all cases. I believe mine was similar enough that I can understand some of what you’re going through, even if I can’t know exactly what you’re feeling.”

“What got you through it?”

“I wish I had an inspirational story, one with a good strategy that you could repeat, but I don’t, really. I suffered and wanted to die for a long time. The only thing that kept me alive was fear of the unknown. Eventually, the medication and therapy started to work. It took a long time, but slowly, I started to come out of my depression.”

“That’s the worst inspirational story ever.”

I chuckle. “Yeah, it’s hardly something they write books about. People talk about that one person or motivation that got them through, but in reality, it’s rarely as clear cut as that. It’s time and a multitude of factors. That being said, having the right people in your life can work wonders. I want to be one of those people, Chester.”

“I want you as one of my people as well,” Chester says quietly. “I just… I’m worried you’ll give up on me again. What if I don’t get better fast enough, and you decide that you don’t want to put up with me anymore.”

I know that’s not going to happen, but the question is, how do I convince Chester of that?

“You underestimate how much patience my job entails. I’m quite used to waiting months, sometimes even years for patients to get better. I can be patient with you too, Chester.”

“Years?Storm, I can’t keep doing this for years!”

Crap. “I didn’t mean to say it would take that long for you. That’s only for treatment resistant depression.”

“Who’s to say mine isn’t treatment resistant?”

“It’s not. We’ve already seen some improvement with the medication you’re on. I know the improvements seem small to you, but they are significant enough to show me that the treatment is working.”

“So it’s not going to take years?”

“I can’t give you a timeline, but I don’t think it will.”

Chester’s tense shoulders loosen slightly. “Okay. I believe you.”

“And I believe in you, Chester. I can’t carry this burden for you, but I can carry you through it, and I will.”

“Did you just quoteLord of the Ringsto me?”

“I believe I paraphrased the quote.”

“It’s one of my favorite ones.” Chester gives me a small smile. “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.” He looks at me with hope.

“How about we do a movie marathon? I assume you have the extended editions.”

“Of course.”

“Then let’s get to the lounge and get comfortable. We have a lot of watching to do.”

Chester’s smile widens. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve gotten a genuine smile out of him, one that really reaches his eyes.

For the first time, I’m about to start counting on the second hand.

9

Chester

Noah finds us three hours later, cuddled up on the couch together, eating popcorn and nearly finished withThe Fellowship of the Ring.

“Well, you’re looking more cheerful.” He smiles at me before giving Storm an approving nod. I let out a small sigh of relief. Noah had looked positively murderous when Storm arrived. I was genuinely worried for Storm’s safety, and if Storm had failed to cheer me up, I suspect he would have found himself on the wrong side of Noah’s fist.

Storm smiles at him, clearly not holding onto any hard feelings. “We’re getting there. Care to join us, Noah?”

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