Page 20 of Puck Me

“You specifically asked not to be kept in the loop about Chester’s case. There’s a note about it here in his chart.”

I did ask that, didn’t I? What a fucking stupid request. Now, Chester is going to pay for my mistake.

“I have to go to him. Melody, what’s his home address?”

I reach for Chester’s chart, but Melody snatches it away before I can so much as touch it. “Not a chance, Dr. Harris. There will be no confidential patient information given out on my watch. You have no reason to need his address. That’s private. You know that.”

I want to scream in frustration, but of course, Melody is right. She can’t just let me abuse my power… but Chester could be hurting himself right now, and no one would know.

“I’m worried for him. I think he’s a danger to himself.”

“Did he say something to you?”

“No,” I admit.

“Then you don’t have legal precedent to interfere.”

I know that, of course, but I also know Chester. He’s suffering, and he’s too afraid to say anything about it, because he doesn’t want another involuntary admission. I’m clearly not going to get anything out of Melody, so I go off to find Dr. George.

Thankfully, she’s not seeing a patient at the moment.

“Olivia, I need to speak with you.”

“What’s wrong, Storm? Oh. You found out that Chester discharged himself, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” I say through gritted teeth. “You need to check on him. I’m worried about him.”

“So am I, but I tried everything to convince him to stay. He was adamant that he was fine and wanted to go home and continue his recovery there.”

“That’s a pile of bullshit. He wants to go home so that he can hurt himself.”

“I’m inclined to agree, but he hasn’t said anything to that effect, so there’s really nothing we can do. I left him with my card, and he promised to reach out if he needs anything.”

The chances of Chester reaching out to Olivia are slim at best, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

“Try to take a step back, Storm. You’re getting too attached. That’s why you handed Chester’s case over to me in the first place. I know you care about him, but you know that becoming emotionally involved with a patient is a road to disaster.”

“It’s too late for that,” I say bleakly. “I… I want to be with him. Physically and emotionally. Now that I’m no longer his doctor, I was hoping to ask him out on a date. Of course, I’ll wait; bringing it up soon after terminating our doctor-patient relationship wouldn’t be appropriate.”

“I didn’t know you were interested in men.” There is no judgment in Olivia’s tone, just simple curiosity.

“I didn’t either,” I admit. “I wasn’t… not until Chester.”

“He’s still very ill, Storm. I strongly suggest that you leave dating until he’s a little better.”

“I can help him,” I insist. “He needs someone right now, and I can be that person for him.”

“Be careful not to confuse wanting to be his partner with wanting to save him. Are you sure you truly want to date him, or do you just want to fix him in any way possible?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell Olivia that she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but I pause and force myself to consider her question seriously. Hero complexes aren’t uncommon in psychiatrists, or in doctors in general. It wouldn’t be fair to Chester to start dating him if I’m truly only interested in getting close enough to him to help him out of his depression rather than being interested in him as a person.

“No,” I say slowly after a minute’s consideration. “I really like Chester. He’s still ill, like you say, but I’ve seen glimpses of his true self beneath the depression, and it’s beautiful. I want to know him from the inside out. I want to be his, and I want him to be mine. I want…”

I trail off, unsure how to find the words.

“You’ve got it bad.”

“I really do, don’t I?”

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