Page 1 of Puck Me

1

Chester

Igroan as I hear the doorbell ring. Is it that time again already? I know I’ll feel better afterward, but that doesn’t make the immediate prospect any more inviting.

I drag myself out of bed. I know from harsh experience that if I don’t open the door, Noah will kick it down. I’ve already had to replace the door twice. Noah has no sympathy for my complaints. I suppose I can understand that. If I were him, I’d be worried about me too.

Noah is waiting at the door with an annoyingly cheerful smile. “Hi, Chester!” Why does he sound so perky?

“Hi,” I grumble. I dearly want to go back to bed, but I don’t dare.

“Why don’t you get in the shower while I start making lunch?”

The thought of showering is exhausting, but Noah is not above stripping me down and dragging me into the shower himself.

“Yeah, okay.”

I know from experience that I really will feel better once I’m clean, but actually getting myself to do it is difficult. I know it’s all part of depression, but that doesn’t make me feel any less pathetic for not even being able to do basic things for myself.

“Did you eat breakfast? Take your meds?”

“I took my meds,” I hedge. I can’t lie about that. Noah has medication boxes for me that he fills up once a week with my antidepressants, and he can see if I haven’t taken them. He can’t, however, see if I’ve had breakfast or not. I don’t like lying to him, though.

I take my crutches and make my way to the bathroom, where there is a plastic chair in the shower waiting for me. I force myself to shower and pull my protesting body into the kitchen. My stomach grumbles at the smell of chicken cooking, but it holds little appeal to my brain.

“How have you been doing?” Noah asks, as if he didn’t see me just yesterday for this little ritual.

“Not great,” I admit. “Better than before the meds, but Dr. Davidson says that my depression is situational rather chemical, and there’s only a limited amount that medication can do for situational depression.”

Noah’s expression softens in sympathy. “It’s understandable. Did you look into that book club I found you?”

I shake my head, too ashamed to say anything.

“That’s okay. What about some online games? There are a couple of high fantasy player versus player MMORPGs that look quite hopeful. We could even play together, if you’d like.”

“I don’t want to take up all your free time, Noah. You’ve got Finn to think about, not to mention your career.”

The thought sends yet another wave of sadness through me. Not so long ago, I was just like Noah, with a bright future in ice hockey ahead of me. An accident on the ice changed all that. Now, the doctors say I’ll be lucky to walk again without a limp, let alone play.

Noah’s voice drags me out of my dismal thoughts. “I’ll always make time for you, Chester. You’re my best friend. Besides, Finn likes you, and he enjoys the time we all spend hanging out together.”

I smile as I think of Finn. He and Noah really are perfect for each other. They had a bit of a rocky start, but ever since they got past that, things have been smooth sailing between them. Noah spent so much of his life in the closet, I had thought he’d never come out, but Finn slowly lured him out into the light.

I’ve known I’m gay most of my life, and I never had a problem coming out. My friends and family were all supportive, and that was that. I’ve been out since I was thirteen.

“What about your physical therapy? How did your appointment go yesterday?” Noah hands me a chicken sandwich and levels me with a stern look. I take an obedient bite, which gives me a few moments to delay responding.

“Xavier says I’m making progress, but… Well, he still says that the most we can ever aim for is to walk without a limp. He says that when a leg is shattered as badly as mine was, it’s a miracle the surgeons were able to save it at all. I’ll never be able to play on it again.”

Noah sighs and nods. We had both known this already, of course, but I know he was hoping for better news. I certainly was.

“Well, we’ll work on finding you new hobbies, maybe even a new job if you want one, though your insurance should have you covered for life if you don’t want to work.”

Right now, all I can focus on is getting through each day. All I want to do is sleep the time away. Hobbies and jobs seem a long way away for me.

I finish my sandwich and Noah puts in a load of laundry for me.

“Make sure you toss this in the dryer later. Are you ready to go?”

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