I know she is in there. Just existing here in this hall is enough to settle me.
My hand hovers over the door, trembling slightly. The scent of oranges and cream wraps around me like a warm embrace, and I close my eyes, imagining Aria on the other side. What am I doing here? What am I going to say?
Nothing.
Space, I need to give her space.
I slide down the wall opposite her apartment, my back pressed against the cool, slightly rough plaster.
I tell myself I’ll stay for a little while, just to make sure she’s safe. I pull out my sobriety chip, running my thumb over its familiar edges. The metal’s cool against my skin, grounding me. One day at a time, right? Well, tonight, that means one minuteat a time, sitting here in this hallway, guarding the door of the woman who’s become my reason for staying sober.
I don’t know how long I sit here, lost in thoughts of Aria. The hallway is quiet, save for the occasional creak of the old building settling. I strain my ears, trying to catch any sound from behind her door, but there’s nothing.
A door opens farther down the hall, and I freeze, suddenly aware of how strange I must look sitting here. I scramble to my feet, shoving the chip back in my pocket. Another omega shuffles out, giving me a suspicious look as she heads toward the elevator.
“Evening, ma’am,” I mumble, trying to look casual as I lean against the wall. She narrows her eyes but says nothing as she passes.
Once she’s gone, I release a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. This is ridiculous. I’m acting like a lovesick teenager, not a grown man. I should go home and give Aria the space she deserves.
I stretch out my legs and rest my head against the wall. My thoughts are actually quiet for once, and I can’t help but wonder if that’s because I’m so close to my mate—a mate who tried to hide the bond mark from Zane on her neck, but I didn’t just see it,I felt it.
It feels like hope.
As the night drags on, my eyelids grow heavy. The hallway is quiet except for the occasional hum of the elevator or the distant sound of a door closing. Every creak and groan of the building sets my nerves on edge. I should go home, but the thought of leaving Aria unprotected makes my chest tight with anxiety, so I stay, drifting in and out of a light sleep, my senses on high alert for any sound from her apartment.
At one point, I nearly talk myself into leaving. I stand up, my muscles screaming after hours on the hard floor, and take a steptoward the stairs, but then I remember the look in Aria’s eyes when I shared my story at the AA meeting, and I’m rooted to the spot. I can’t walk away. Not tonight.
I know this isn’t healthy, and I know I’m probably overstepping, but right now, with the ghost of her lips on mine and the weight of everything we shared tonight, I can’t bring myself to leave. The old Dash wouldn’t have given a shit, and he would have gone home and drowned these feelings in a bottle, but I’m not that guy anymore. I’m trying to be better and be worthy of the trust Aria’s placed in me.
Memories of past flings and one-night stands flood my mind, each one marked by a hazy blur of alcohol and fake confidence, but with Aria, it’s different. I feel truly connected to her, and the thought both exhilarates and terrifies me. With every beat of my heart, I know this is what real love feels like, and it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
A fragment of a melody drifts through my mind, something new and raw, inspired by tonight’s emotions. I hum it softly, letting the notes weave through my thoughts of Aria. Maybe this feeling could be the spark for a new song—something honest and vulnerable, unlike the party anthems I used to churn out.
Tomorrow, I’ll figure out how to be there for her without suffocating her and how to balance my recovery with these new, overwhelming feelings. I’ll talk to my sponsor and maybe even bring it up at the next meeting, because this—whatever it is between Aria and me—is too important to fuck up.
For tonight, though, I’ll keep watch, because for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have something worth protecting, and that something is Aria and the fragile, beautiful possibility of what we could be.
As dawn starts to break, painting the dingy hallway in soft grays and pinks, I make a silent promise to Aria, myself, and whatever higher power might be listening. I’ll do better. I’ll bebetter. One day at a time, one moment at a time, I’ll prove that I’m more than my past mistakes.
The future is as unpredictable as a live gig, but for once, I’m not too wasted to appreciate the thrill of it, and for now, that’s more than enough.
I can’t help but chuckle softly to myself. Who would have thought? Dash, the life of the party, spending the night on a cold hallway floor, sober as a judge, all for a girl. Then again, Aria isn’t just any girl, and maybe I’m not just any guy anymore either.
As the building starts to wake up around me, a new fear creeps in. What if Aria opens her door and finds me here? Will she see it as sweet and protective or creepy and stalkerish? The thought makes my stomach churn.
I do what feels wrong, and I slip away.
25
ARIA
My phone buzzes,yanking me out of my Dash-induced thought spiral. His puppy dog eyes and that ridiculous overnight vigil outside my apartment door are burned into my brain like an embarrassing tattoo I can’t quite cover up. What was he thinking? And why does the thought of him out there, vulnerable and devoted, make my chest ache like I was sucker punched by my own emotions?
Quinn’s name flashes on the screen. I hesitate, my stomach doing a weird flip-flop thing that I’m definitely not ready to analyze.
“Aria?” Quinn’s voice crackles through, buzzing with more energy than my second cup of coffee. “The salon had a makeover. You have to see this. Can you meet me?”
I chew my lip, picturing the sad, empty shell of a space from our last visit. “Already? Damn, Quinn, you work faster than my ability to process all this change.”