Page 43 of Resist Me

“When do you start school?”

He grimaced. “A week. I’m freaking out.”

Sen had gone to the university for a semester but after he came out, his parents cut him off like the douche nuggets they were. Instead of racking up a ton of debt, he decided to work full-time. He’d been looking into trade schools, which were significantly cheaper. Now, he was enrolled in a welding program, which would pay well when he finished. The best part was that it would take him less than a year. If I wasn’t dead set on a career in football, I’d probably do the same thing. Thankfully, I was on a scholarship, so I wouldn’t end up with a mountain of debt when I graduated.

“You’re gonna do great,” I said before Willow came out in a hot pink sports bra and shorts that would have all the guys ogling her. It was pointless to argue about it, so I jerked my chin toward the door and offered Sen a wave.

We walked in silence for a few minutes. It was comfortable and I found it peaceful to simply be with her right now. I’d been gone for six months and even though we’d seen each other over winter break, I missed the crazy woman. We had our issues, like all siblings did, but we’d always been close. After our dad went off the deep end, a sort of solidarity formed between us and there was an unspoken agreement that I knew meant we’d protect the other with our lives if it came down to it.

It was harder when we started high school. She rebelled more than the average teenager and once she started having sex at fourteen, I knew things could get bad. I’d done my fair share of research on what to expect from someone who’d been abused the way she had as a kid.I didn’t want to stereotype her, but it helped me prepare for some of the ways she acted out.

There wasn’t much I could do, of course. I was the same age as her and didn’t have a way to get her any help. Our dad tried to put her in therapy, which was the only good thing he did after he found out what had been happening to her. At a certain point, though, she just stopped going. When he’d knock on her door to tell her it was time to go, she’d be missing, then she’d show back up at dinner time. When he couldn’t convince her to continue, he withdrew even more.

He was a shell of a person, a slave to the guilt he felt. He’d failed his child in a profound way, one she’d never fully heal from. The thing was, it wasn’t really his fault. He didn’t know what was going on while he was at work. He trusted James and so did we. What happened after was entirely my dad’s fault. Instead of pulling us closer to protect us, he pushed us away. And worse, he became the villain to the point that I resented him.

He was selfish and I wouldn’t forgive him for that. The fact that he had the audacity to be angry that she wanted to move away almost made me laugh. As if I would fail to keep her safe. As if I wasn’t the one who made sure she was fed and clothed throughout our lives. As if I didn’t spend half my nights trying to figure out where she was and who she was with.

“You okay?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, just in my head.”

“You have that look on your face. The dark one when you think about dad.”

“He’s not worth my mental energy. I’m just thinking about how I can break you during our workout. You’re gonna regret trying to keep up with me.”

“Who said I’m gonna try to keep up with you? I’ll run right past you and flip you off from the finish line.”

“Blasphemy,” I shouted as I opened the door. She slipped past me, sticking her tongue out on the way.

Grabbing her shoulders from behind, I guided her toward the squat rack. I worked hard for these rock solid thighs and I wasn’t going to start slacking just because she was here. Those football pants could make or break you, so having a nice ass was imperative.

“What do you think you can handle?” I asked.

“Whatever you’re doing.”

I raised a brow but added the weights. When it was loaded, I motioned for her to go for it. A flicker of worry passed over her eyes and I rolled my lips to keep from laughing too hard.

She settled the bar above her shoulder blades and took a deep breath before she unlatched it. When she started to lower, I saw that she was going to completely collapse, so I grabbed onto the bar and pushed it back up. She turned around with wide eyes.

“There’s no way you can do that.”

I took her place and did twelve perfect squats. She blinked silently, her jaw working as she watched me.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “We can whip you into shape, but you’ll always be the inferior one.”

Crossing her arms over her chest, she leaned against the wall and started looking around the gym. She’d always been too competitive. When I joined track in middle school, she had to do the same. She quit after a week, but not before she proved that she could beat my mile time.

I guess we were alike in that way. The difference was that I stuck with things. I liked to see it through once I committed to something. Track wasn’t for me, but I finished out the season, then didn’t go back the next year. I focused all of my efforts on football so that I could get to this place. At a certain point, I stopped looking for my dad in the stands and learned that I could be proud of myself, so now I did it for me.

After removing some of the weight, I grabbed her arm and tugged her beneath the bar. “Start here. You’ll catch up to me in no time.”

Her cheek twitched. “This is dumb.”

“It’s not. We’ll do it together. No quitting.”

She huffed but situated herself and lowered into a squat. Her legs shook on the way back up. Still, she kept going. I grinned at her and was about to tell her something encouraging when my phone started to ring. When I looked at it, the smile fell from my face.

“I’ll be right back,” I told her. “Don’t do anything without me.”

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