Page 86 of Resist Me

“I don’t like doing things alone. The company sucks.”

One of his hands traveled up my chest and settled at my throat. He used it to pull me back roughly, forcing the breath out of me.

Apparently, West woke up ready to fight. Unexpected, but unsurprising.

“I’m happy to do it with you,” I replied more breathily than I liked. “When are we telling your roommates? I’m free all weekend.”

He growled and released me. I turned around and studied his angry expression.

“You said you didn’t like to publicize your life,” he reminded me.

“That’s not what this is about. I’m not even asking you to tell the world, just the people we’re gonna be around often. You shouldn’t be hiding from the most important people in your life, especially when you know they’re going to be completely accepting of it.”

He ground his teeth together, then grabbed his own mug and poured some coffee. I wanted to comfort him, but I couldn’t just abandon my own feelings on the subject.

“Look, West. I don’t date closeted men because I hate being someone’s dirty secret they’re too ashamed to fess up to. Ninety percent of the time they don’t end up coming out and I get hurt. I thought you were different because you’re not afraid to show the world your middle finger and you said you wouldn’t have a problem with liking a guy.”

“I told you it isn’t that.”

“Well, it sure as shit isn’t about PDA.” I stepped toward him and he reached out to wrap his arm around my middle, pulling me closer. “The longer we do this, the more I’m gonna fucking fall for you. And if I can’t trust that this is what you want, then I’m not gonna let myself do that.”

His eyes softened. He brought his hand up and ran his fingers through my hair. I resisted the urge to tell him how long I’d spent taming these godforsaken curls.

“I keep thinking about you,” he said. “I want to talk to you and touch you, so I think it’s safe to say that I want this.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“I mean, it’s you. Kai’s gonna gloat because I was wrong and say I was dramatic about hating you. Blah, blah, blah. Everyone will make a big deal out of it.”

The coffee suddenly felt more acidic in my stomach. All week, I’d been agonizing over the battle West was having with himself. I’d read the whole thing wrong.

“Seriously?” I shook my head, still unable to believe what he was saying. “This is about pride. That’s even worse.”

“How is it worse?”

“You don’t want to be with me because you can’t admit that you were wrong. If that means more to you than pursuing something with a guy who has admitted how much he cares about you, then I’m not gonna do this.”

“Wait. You don’t want to do this?”

“I want to, but now I don’t know what to think. If it was any other guy, you wouldn’t hesitate. Butnot me.”

He stared at me, silent and unreadable. It was frustrating to speak so openly, to give him so much, and get nothing in return. West loved to talk, more than anybody I knew, but not about his feelings. I could understand it, but if he wanted something real, he had to at least meet me halfway. He had totry.

“It’s…” He sighed and dropped his head back. “Maybe it sounds dumb, but people are probably gonna laugh and say I hated you because I found you hot or something.”

“Who cares?” When he turned those bright eyes on me, I cupped his face. “I thought you were fearless, Densmore.”

The corner of his mouth curved upward. “You’re trying to taunt me.”

I shrugged. “I’m ready to face it all for you. Don’t you want to beat me or something?”

He returned to his pensive state, nodding his head every once in a while. Every second was agonizing and it was difficult to read him. I was just waiting for him to push me away again. I had to ask myself how many times I’d come crawling back, pathetically asking him for something that I wasn’t sure he could give.

“Fine. You win.”

“I win?” I repeated, taken aback.

“I’ll talk to Kai this weekend. If you make me regret this…”

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