Page 81 of Resist Me

He opened his mouth but nothing came out. That was all I needed before I offered a wave to the others and left the apartment. I put on my helmet and swung my leg over my motorcycle. Staying there for a minute, I stared at the front door.

Was it pathetic that I was waiting for him to follow me? I wasn’t giving up, but unless he met me halfway, I had to be careful with this situation.

Everything was quiet and still aside from the rain. Instead of coming after me, he sent me a text.

West:Why’d you leave?

Lincoln:I’m too old for games.

West:Just come back. Please.

Lincoln:Is anything gonna be different?

It took him a long time to respond and I almost decided to take off and make him wait until I got home.

West:I need time for that.

Lincoln:Then take it, but I’m not gonna hang around and play pretend.

Look, I’m not trying to be a dick. If I haven’t made it clear enough, I like you and I don’t mind keeping this on the down low, but at the very least, I don’t want to hide and act like nothing’s going on when we’re around your friends. I just need you to figure this out before we keep going.

Putting the phone away, I started my bike. As much as my traitorous heart hated it, I had to take care of myself too. The ball was in his court and I didn’t have any control over what he did with it.

*****

Willow:So, about Rick….

Lincoln:What about him?

Willow:Good prospect or no?

I sighed and dropped the phone on the counter. The woman was as much of a menace as her brother. And just like him, she had this lovable quality that seemed to come naturally. From the beginning, I was annoyed by the same thing in West because I thought it was fake and I wasn’t a fan of overly perky people. Sure, he did try too hard and was over the top when he wanted to impress the team, but overall, he was pretty real.

He’d texted me earlier and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. All he said was ‘hey.’ If he’d figured things out on his end, I was sure he would’ve said more than that. I didn’t really want to open up conversation right now because I knew myself too well. I’d start to miss him more, then I’d probably invite him over, even though we would continue to have the same issue. Those things didn’t end well.

There was a reason I needed him to figure out what he wanted right now. I’d done this before, dated a guy who was uncertain. By the time he’d made his decision, I was ready to take things further, and he left. If I wasn’t careful, I’d reach that point with West and I just needed to feel safe giving my heart to him.

When I finished blending my protein shake, I settled on the couch and went back to Willow’s text. I really didn’t want to give her a yes or no answer to her question.

Rick was nice enough and I’d never known him to be a fuck boy, but whether or not he was a good person for Willow to pursue was hard to determine. I’d never seen Rick actually date, so maybe it depended on what she was looking for. That wasn’t something I wanted to know the details of, so I sent her a shrug emoji and moved on. If she decided to hang out with him, it wasn’t on me.

The phone rang and I wanted to throw it across the room, but I saw that it was my grandma, so I put it on speaker.

“Hey, gran. What’s up?”

“Just checking in. You stay so quiet over there, we hardly know if you’re alive.”

I chuckled, bringing my legs up beside me. “Alive, kicking, and having the time of my life.”

“Right,” she scoffed. “You’re spending all of your time alone now that football is over, aren’t you?”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m forced to see people when I go to class.”

“Well, it’s good to know you’re doing that, at least. Tell me how the song is coming along.”

I let out a long groan and laid back. “It’s fine. It just never feels like I’ve got it completely mastered.”

“You’re always too hard on yourself. I’m sure it’s perfect.”

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