Page 21 of Resist Me

“Don’t worry,” I interrupted. “I already got cleaning stuff. It’s in my dorm.”

“Well, that’s not a helpful place for it,” Sen pointed out.

I mocked him, earning a laugh from Kai. He pulled Sen into his side when he threw him a glare.

God, they were cute. I both loved and hated it. Now, we’d be around each other even more than usual, and I’d be lying if I said their dynamic wouldn’t make me a little jealous. Long-termrelationships had eluded me thus far, not that I’d ever tried to find one. In high school, I was too busy or distracted. Now that football wouldn’t consume my life for a while, I wondered if I could explore the world of dating. It sounded simultaneously horrible and alluring.

“Let’s go get those supplies,” I suggested loudly. They were making fuck me eyes at each other and it was way too early in the day for that. We didn’t even have beds in here yet, for fuck’s sake.

Chapter 8

West

Three rolls of paper towels. That was how much it took to clean the kitchen. The insides of the cabinets were disgusting. I wasn’t eventhatclean of a person, but what I’d been victim to in this place in the last few hours was enough to make me want to carry wet wipes around with me. I never wanted to touch anything I hadn’t cleaned myself.

“Beer?” Sen asked, holding a glass bottle out to me.

It took me a moment to remember that one of our teammates got us a case to celebrate the new place.

“Thanks, man.”

I twisted off the cap and took a long swig. I hadn’t drank enough beer in my lifetime to know if it was good or not. Most tasted gross to me, but I wasn’t gonna complain after the shit show that was this kitchen.

“Jesus,” Kai exclaimed when he walked in the door with bags full of snacks. “Open a window. That bleach is gonna knock me on my ass.”

I slid open the door to the balcony and stepped out. It was pretty gross out there too from years of dirt that had become part of theconcrete. At this point, I was going to find myself with a mile-long list of things to do around here.

Sen appeared in my peripheral and leaned his elbows on the railing next to me. I glanced sidelong at him, trying to read his expression.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“Gonna have to give me more than that, buddy. You look sad.”

He offered me a rueful smile. “Moving is this scary and exciting thing. It’s just not what I imagined. I’m happy,” he added quickly. “But I thought when I got my first place, there’d be some stupid dad advice, my mom would be crying, and they’d get me an Instant Pot or something. Kai is on the phone with his parents and it just reminded me that every milestone in my life will be alone.”

“Not alone,” I countered.

“Yeah, I know.”

“It’s not the same. I get that. Does Kai know how you’re feeling?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t brought it up. It’s not that important, more of an internal battle. Maybe I’m talking to you about it because he…”

I gave him a knowing look. “He can empathize, but he doesn’t know how it feels to be the family disappointment.”

“Be more blunt about it, why don’t you?”

“There’s no point sugar-coating things, man. It’s easier to make yourself feel better, but it doesn’t help anything and you end up giving yourself false expectations. I know that I’ll always be blamed for a wrong I had no control over and was too young to understand, so my relationship with my dad justis. There’s nothing I can do about it and I’ve stopped trying.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, but you don’t deserve that.”

With a shrug, I turned to face him. There was a somber look on his face that I knew wouldn’t fully fade on the inside, even if he learned to hide it. A parent’s disdain hit differently. That was just the way the cookie crumbled.

“It was something that happened to Willow,” I explained. “My dad blames me for not protecting her, even though we were really young.”

“So, long story short, he’s a dick.”

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