Page 62 of Unfix Me

“Is it weird if I ask how it was?”

I snapped out of the thoughts that were spiraling toward depravity. “Um… It was fine.”

“Fine. That doesn’t sound like a good description of sex.”

I got to my feet and stuffed my hands in my pockets. He stood, settling at my side close enough for our arms to brush.

“It felt… good, obviously,” I explained, dropping my voice low. “But not like other people seem to feel. My ex thought I was asexual because I didn’t initiate. If she wanted to, I’d do it. I didn’t even really like when she tried to give me oral.”

“Maybe she was bad at it.”

Breathing a laugh, I shrugged. “I always knew something was wrong with me. Just add it to the list.”

He was completely silent for the rest of the walk back to the dorm. I stopped and turned to him, unsure if we were saying goodbye or hanging out. The look on his face made me even more uncertain.

With a vicious shake of his head, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me into his room. When I opened my mouth, he put a hand over it.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Sen. Nothing haseverbeen wrong with you. Do you understand?”

“Okay,” I mumbled through his hand.

“No, not okay. That’s not good enough for me.”

His jaw worked and he wouldn’t meet my eyes, which wasn’t normal for Kai. I reached for him, but he grabbed both of my arms and walked me over to the bed. He pushed me hard enough to make me fall onto my back. The next moment, he’d unbuttoned my jeans and had his fingers in the waistband.

“W-what are you doing?”

“I’m gonna prove there’s nothing wrong with you.”

“I don’t…”

He yanked my pants down, then met my eyes. “You can say no at any point.”

“Okay,” I breathed.

He pulled my jeans off of my legs and tossed them to the floor. Instead of doing what I thought he would, he moved up to straddle my hips. Leaning forward, he snagged my lower lip and tugged it toward him. My hands shook as I took the bottom of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

His body was firm under my touch, all solid, lean muscle. I could feel each of them engage as I ran my fingers over his skin. He wasn’t small or buttery soft like the women I’d been with. He was huge. His shoulders were broad and his biceps were defined, even more so while he held himself above me.

This was wrong.

No, this… I shook my head. Blinking a few times, I tried to get my head in the right place. Some fucked up wiring felt like it was short circuiting, drawing me out of this moment when all I wanted was to stay in it.

“Tell me,” he said.

“No.”

He frowned but nodded. The longer I struggled, the more my eyes burned. I would not cry right now. This was so pathetic.

I couldn’t do this.

“Sen. Hey.”

“I can’t.”

“Baby, look at me.” He cupped my jaw, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

“I can’t,” I repeated. “I can’t… I don’t know.”

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