Page 109 of Unfix Me

“I feel like I don’t deserve him.”

“Why would you say that?”

I licked my lips and thought about those sweet texts he’d been sending. “It took me so long to do this. I asked him to stop being who he is, to hide, just because I was scared. Someone like him should never be hidden from the world.”

West drummed his fingers on his thighs. “It has nothing to do with him deserving better than you. It’s about him deserving betterfromyou. And you deserve better from yourself too, Sen. He won’t ask you to come out for him, but I will.”

“I want to. I don’t really know how or if I’m brave enough.”

“You have, like, thirty hours to figure it out if we take turns driving.”

“You can’t drive.”

“It’s fine. Kai let me on the way to Seattle when we were in the middle of nowhere.”

I didn’t like the idea, but the alternative was stopping to sleep. At this point, I was desperate to see Kai. There were still a lot of miles between now and then, which gave me time to figure out what I was going to do.

Come out for Kai. That was simple. What I hadn’t thought about up until now was that it was also for me. That sort of felt like the missing piece to this whole thing.

My phone buzzed and I quickly glanced at it.

Kai:Reason I love you #3: If I say ‘that ass’ is it still romantic?

Chapter 36

Kai

Shouting down the hall made my shoulders rise. It had been like this for most of the morning. Dad wasn’t having a good day today and none of us were able to bring him out of it. He didn’t know who I was and he was confused by Mom.

The nurse was with him and it was getting to the point where she might have to sedate him. All I could do was sit on the couch and stare at the Christmas tree. It only had lights on it right now because we were waiting for West to get here. We always put the ornaments on together. Hopefully, Dad would feel better when we did it. I dreaded the thought of him not being out here with us.

Sen had been responding to my texts for a while yesterday and he even talked to me on the phone last night. He said things were fine, which barely made me feel any better. It was eleven and I still hadn’t heard from him today. Even with the time difference, I assumed he would be awake.

Were they getting him to change his mind? What if he was already at some Dumont facility?

Shaking my head, I tried to get rid of the thoughts. I had every right to be concerned, but I wouldn’t go existential.

“Is he okay?” Willow asked in a small voice. Just like with West, it was unnerving to see her look despondent like that.

I opened my arms and she dropped onto the couch beside me. She leaned her head on my shoulder, taking a deep breath as she settled deeper.

“It gets worse. You know that.”

“That doesn’t make it easier.”

“No,” I agreed. “It doesn’t.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll be fine. When West gets here, I’ll feel better. He should be getting on his plane soon.”

“Tell the asshole to hurry up. He left me here all alone.”

“You skipped almost half your classes last year. You didn’t expect to graduate like that, did you?”

“I should’ve just gotten my GED.”

“So, do it.”

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