Page 5 of Unfix Me

“I always do, Mom.”

Glancing up at the third floor, I counted the windows until I found mine. Right beside it, there was a figure in one of the windows. His dark blonde hair was disheveled as if he’d run his hand through it. I couldn’t see his honey-colored eyes from here and I wondered if there was less fear in them now.

What was he afraid of? It was probably just all of the stress. I didn’t think any of us were at our best right now.

As I watched him, he continued to stare absently down at the courtyard. He seemed pretty at peace. Probably because his balls weren’t aching right now. The least he could do was offer to buy me dinner. An ice pack would suffice.

“West is already making new friends,” I went on.

“Of course he is. He’s never struggled to talk to anyone in his life.”

I knew that wasn’t quite true, but mostly. We were well-liked in high school and while I was pretty social, West thrived on any and all interactions with others. He loved the attention but was actually a genuine person. If he wasn’t, we wouldn’t get along the way we did. I might go so far as to call him my best friend. We protected each other in different ways throughout our lives and that bred a sort of bond that couldn’t be forced. Camaraderie, brotherhood, whatever you wanted to call it.

“How’s Dad doing?” I asked.

There was an audible sigh on the other end, then some shuffling. A door clicked shut and I heard a dog barking in the distance. Probably the neighbor’s terrier, Buttface. That wasn’t his given name, but I’d assigned it to him after he kept me from a good night’s sleep for almost a week straight.

“He asked about you this morning,” Mom said. “He wanted to know if you were home yet so that he could ask you about your first day.”

My eyes fell closed. “Tell him that I love him, okay? I’ll send lots of pictures.”

“Yes, do that. He’ll be ecstatic to see you in your jersey. He’s so proud of you, baby.”

“I know. Tell me if anything gets worse.”

“Of course. You’ll be the first to know. And don’t worry yourself so much. This is good for you, Kai. The two of you talked about this for so long, since you were barely even able to talk. It’s where he wants you.”

My mind replayed memories of those days- my dad dressing me in his too-big jersey, football birthday parties, and learning to play with him in the backyard. It felt like ages ago. When I got accepted to Harmon University of Seattle, he should have been jumping for joy and taking us all out to dinner. I wasn’t able to tell him, though. Not until later when he felt a little better. There was excitement in his eyes, but it quickly faded.

“Kai?”

Clearing my throat, I sat up straighter. “I’m here, Mom. Keep me updated, yeah?”

“I love you, baby. So does Dad.”

“I love you guys too.”

After I ended the call, I looked at the building again. Sen was still standing there, but now his gaze was on me. When he saw that I’d noticed him, he quickly returned to staring at anything else. He looked over his shoulder as if someone was talking to him, then he left the window.

The guy was kind of weird and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to unpack whatever the hell was inside of him. There was something, but I’d leave that to West. He was great at making people feel welcome around him. I used to be, but sometimes life threw things at you that dulled your spark and there were no magical jumper cables to light it back up. Maybe someday it would come back. I had a feeling it’d end up fizzling out completely with the way things were going back home.

My dad smiled at me behind my eyes. His hands pumped in the air from his place in the stands.

Shaking my head, I stuffed my phone in my pocket and started walking. Remaining idle was the worst thing for a troubled mind.

*****

Sweat streamed down my face, dripping into my eyes and mouth. I blew it out and used the back of my hand to wipe it away, but it was just as wet. Deciding it was useless, I reared my arm back and sent the ball soaring. It spun through the air with perfect precision, the kind that came from years of doing this exact thing repeatedly.

As soon as it left my hand, I started running. I’d probably done this fifty times already and my muscles were on fire. I never made it in time to catch the ball, but the practice was just to keep me quick on my feet and ensure I didn’t forget how to throw. It wasn’t like I often got the chance in my position as wide receiver, but outside of the real game, I loved this.

Football wasn’t my passion or the reason I came to school. It was something I loved, but I was here for the degree. Both me and West got different scholarships to come here and I didn’t think he’d come if I didn’t join the team, so of course, I joined.

The ball hit the ground ten yards ahead of me. I ran the rest of the way to it, then swept it off the ground. Dropping my head back, I sucked in as much air as I could. My head swam a little and the sun above me made my eyes spotty.

Everything became a blur suddenly. For a second, I thought I was falling, then I realized there was pressure against me and I was being carried over someone’s shoulder.

With a frustrated growl, I slammed my fist into West’s back. “Let me go, you asshole.”

---