Page 108 of Dirty Secrets

It wasn’t exactly a comforting speech, but it was a lot coming from Beckett, so I nodded. “Thanks. I’ll let you know.”

We climbed into her Mustang and she drove me towards home, the music low and the windows down. I hadn’t been alone in my entire life, so knowing I was returning to an empty house was making my stomach twist.

“Did you want to stay at Mom’s?” Beckett asked as if knowing my thoughts. “She said you’re welcome as long as you can put up with the chaos.”

“I’ll be fine, but please thank her for me,” I murmured. “Did you guys find out anything about the people who attacked us?”

She was quiet for a second before she answered. “Cruz found the guy. I don’t know what the fuck Lavaro was thinking. Mr. Ricci is Stefano Ricci.”

“Am I supposed to know who that is?” I asked slowly, dread pooling in my stomach as she winced.

“He’s the head of the Italian Mafia. I don’t think Zavier knew, but Ander definitely did. I always knew that prick was a lying bastard. No wonder he ran, they’re probably after him and he left Zavier behind,” she said angrily, shaking her head a little.

“Zavier’s got the fucking mafia after him?” I asked, my heartbeat rising. “Do you guys have connections through the mafia? Can you stop it?”

“We avoid the mafia. They don’t play nice, and neither do we, so it wouldn’t end well for anyone,” she tsked, resting her elbow on the open window. “From what we know, Stefano has left hisson in charge in Italy, and he’s now on his way to the States himself. Whatever Ander did must have been bad if he won’t let this go. I bet he either took off with a bunch of drugs and money, or he knows information that he shouldn’t.”

“Zavier’s going to get killed.”

“He’s pretty safe in the compound at the moment. Stone and the guys will see anyone coming from a mile away. They’re on high alert, so they’ll be ready,” she promised. “I really think you should find somewhere else to stay until this blows over.”

“I won’t leave my home, Beckett.”

“No one’s making you, but be careful. Stone can’t even do surveillance on your house since there’s no cameras around, so you’re in a blind spot. If you hear anything weird, don’t investigate. Call Cruz. They can get there faster than us.”

We drove the rest of the way in silence, and I appreciated her checking the house for intruders before letting me inside.

“Lock all windows, doors?—”

“Beckett, it’s the Heights. We lock it up all the time. I’ll be careful,” I smiled, trying to hide my real emotions. Below the panic, sadness washed through me at how alone I felt.

“Right. Well, call me if you need help. Or maybe just for some company. I’m happy to hang out for a little while, if I’m not busy.”

“Thank you,” I nodded, saying goodbye as she left me alone, and I found my way into Logan’s bedroom on autopilot. I paused at how empty it felt, checking his drawers to see if he’d taken everything like I’d told him too.

He had.

Reid and Zavier had taken everything too, my heart feeling heavy as the silence surrounding me became suffocating.

I took a shower to try and ease my aching body, trying not to think about the blood circling the drain. Why had Logan and I been so stupid?

I waited until the water had gone cold before stepping out to find a sanitary pad, cursing when I couldn’t find one. Once I’d shoved a wad of toilet paper between my legs, I shuffled into my bedroom to find some clothes while praying I’d find a random pad.

No luck.

When I opened my drawer for a shirt, I found some of Logan’s and Zavier’s stuffed in there, and I hesitated before pulling out one of Logan’s. I did the stupid girly thing and lifted the material to my nose, surprised at how much his scent sent my emotions haywire all over again.

He should’ve been here, comforting me while I comforted him, but he just had to go and ruin it.

I slipped the shirt on and found some panties, deciding to wear some sweats too, just in case the mafia showed up to kill me or something.

I didn’t want to die half-naked.

My stomach was cramping, so I found my DIY rice sock to heat in the microwave, my eyes landing on something on the kitchen counter as I waited. It was a bag with a note.

Slowly, I moved towards it and picked up the note, wanting to cry all over again as I read it.

Call me if you need anything. I know your mom’s probably taught you to only rely on yourself, but not all moms are unreliable, and I think you might really need a good one right now. Can’t promise I’m the best, but I’m here. There’s plenty of pads and pain relief in the bag, and I threw in some chocolate too, just in case. The hospital bills are sorted, so don’t worry. Rest, grieve, then take on the world when you’re ready to get back up.

---