Page 5 of Everything I Want

“Over here!” Scott says as he pulls the sled quickly to a tree that appears to fit all my requirements. He runs around the tree just as I get there.

“Oh, not this one.” He comes back out looking defeated.

“What’s wrong with -” I step around the back of the tree, “- oh I see.” The tree is completely bare on the back side!

We spend about an hour looking until we finally find the perfect tree. It is about six feet tall and almost as wide around. It will look perfect in my old farmhouse next to the stone fireplace.

Scott is able to cut it down with ease and we get it on the sled to pull back to the car, with minimal help from me.

On the walk back we keep bumping into each other, brushing hands. It starts slow at first, a brush, tangling one finger with mine, another brush then squeezing my fingers lightly, and finally another brush, and he holds my gaze and my hand. Silently giving me the space to make my own decision about the gesture. I squeeze his hand back and turn my face back to the path in front of us. Both of us finished the walk back to the truck with smiles on our faces.

It surprises me on the way home that I haven’t thought of Andrew as much as I was worried that I would. It turned out to be a wonderful evening. We found the perfect tree, strolled hand in hand through the rows, and sipped on hot chocolate. Scott made me laugh all night and my face hurts from smiling so much.

But now that we are driving home, I’m getting nervous about what happens when Scott drops me off. I don’t have long to worry though as he pulls into the driveway and unbuckles his seatbelt. I feel frozen in fear he might try to kiss me and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet. Holding hands is one thing, but kissing another man?

Scott comes around to my side of the truck, and holds out his hand. “Are you ready?” He asks, obviously unsure of what is keeping me in his car.

“Are you going to kiss me?” I blurt out.

“Lorelei, is that why you aren’t coming out of the truck?”

“Yes. I’m not sure if I’m ready. I’m so sorry.” I hang my head, and look at my feet.

He comes closer to the truck, and places my hands in his. “Lorelei, I am not going to do anything you aren’t ready for. I want you to be ready for everything that happens. I know going on this date with me and acknowledging it was a date was hard for you, and I’m grateful for every moment I get. But I will not push you for anything.” He looks me in the eyes, and I believe him.

I slide out of the truck so we are face to face. Well face to chest because of the height difference. Scott is well over six foot tall.

“Ok. Thank you,” I whisper as I wrap my arms around his waist and rest my cheek to his chest.

He hugs me back and smooths down my hair. “Only what you’re ready for,” he repeats.

He walks me up the sidewalk, and we get the tree stand set up for the tree to come in. Colton and Lacey come down the stairs from putting Oliver to bed and thankfully Colton goes to help Scott with the tree while Lacey and I make sure it will be set up in the perfect spot.

At the end of the night, I walk Scott to his truck, and we hug goodnight. Nothing more, just like he promised earlier. All the awkwardness of me being afraid he would kiss me was forgotten by him, but not by me.

As I walk back to the house looking up to the sky, I whisper to Andrew. “What am I doing? Is this the right thing for me?”

At that moment a shooting star flies across the sky, giving me just the approval from Andrew that I need.

December 2nd

Scott

Me:Good morning Beautiful. Tonight will be tree decorating. See you for dinner. Get those Christmas tunes ready to go.

Lorelei:Scott. I appreciate it. But you don’t have to waste your time with me. I’m so sorry about last night, but please don’t feel like you have to continue this tradition with me.

I know that Lorelei is still feeling guilty about her reaction to whether or not I was going to kiss her. I, however, completelyunderstand. She lost her husband five years ago in a tragic way. It’s taken her almost a year to agree to an actual date with me. I am not pushing her and never will. I didn’t lose my wife in that same sense, but it was my fault that we divorced, so I do understand the guilt she feels giving attention to someone else.

Me:You don’t need to be sorry. I’m more than happy to spend any time with you that you’re willing to give. Also, don’t worry about cooking, I’ve got dinner.

Lorelei:I have Oliver tonight. Is that okay?

Me:Of course it is. He will love what I have planned for dinner.

I plan to grab pizza on the way to her house tonight so we can just relax and focus on decorating and enjoying the night. Oliver being there is going to help her relax more. He’s a great kid, and I’m happy he will be there to bring the Christmas cheer that is only brought on by the innocence and magic of childhood. At six years old, Oliver still has all that whimsical magic of Christmas.

I have two pizzas, french fries, a bottle of wine, and some juice for Oliver teetering in my arms as I attempt to ring the doorbell.

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