Page 46 of Silent Cravings

“If you feel sick, why don’t you go up to my office and lie down on the couch?”

A scream rose in my throat and threatened to tear its way free. The only thing stopping me was knowing the trouble I would cause. “No, it’s better if I go, please. Just believe me, all right? Get back in there before anybody thinks there’s something wrong.”

“There’s obviously something wrong. Goddammit, will you talk to me?” he whispered fiercely, standing close enough to my back that I could feel his warmth and smell his cologne even over the thick fragrance of the flowers in my hair.

“I have nothing to say to you,” I whispered, willing the car to get here. “Can you just accept that and let it go?”

“Stop lying.”

He was begging for a high heel through his eye, and lucky I was one of the few girls who hadn’t taken their shoes off yet. “Oh? I’m a liar now? That’s what you think about me?”

“Don’t do that.” He snarled. “Don’t twist this around. You’ve been hot and cold, up and down for weeks with no explanation.”

Don’t do this. Not here, not now. You’ll regret it forever.I knew the voice in my head was right. I would regret unloading everything on him tonight when the celebration we worked so hard to put together was wrapping up. The bride and groom were probably posing for photos yards from where we stood.

I might have been able to hold it together if he hadn’t asked one final question. “When are you going to get tired of running away?”

That was what did it. The accusation that broke my already precarious hold on myself. To hell with regret. I already had more than enough of it anyway. What was a little more heaped on the pile?

I turned slowly, glaring up at him. He had the nerve to look confused. Somehow, that was worse than anything else that he could still look confused. “You are priceless,” I gritted out through clenched teeth. “Standing there, accusing me of running away. What did you do when I told you I was pregnant? Did you offer to talk it out with me? Did you ask what I wanted to do about the baby? Did you even think about it as a baby? Did you think about me at all?”

“Wait a second.” What a big surprise, the way he wanted to backtrack. “Maybe this isn’t the best place?—”

Bitterness stiffened my spine. Finally, I had him shrinking under the weight of something I had carried for a decade. “Why not? You were so damn determined to interrogate me only a few moments ago. What’s changed, Evan? Can’t you handle the truth?”

His face darkened before he lowered his brow, his lip lifting in a sneer. “Maybe I could have handled it if you had brought it up another time instead of throwing it at me now.”

“Right.” I snapped my fingers, shrugging. “I forgot. Youwant to hear things like this when it’s convenient for you. That’s not how things work. You don’t get to use being surprised as an excuse either. Do you think I was prepared for anything that happened back then? Do you think I enjoyed being left on my own? You went to Harvard and didn’t look back. You never even called to see how I was feeling,” I reminded him, spitting out the words, reveling in how good it felt to get everything off my chest. No, it wasn’t the right time or place, but I could not be bothered to give a fuck. I had waited too long.

“I wanted to, Val?—”

“Oh, congratulations.You wanted to.You’re such a fucking hero.”

His bewildered gaze hardened before he took another step closer to me, our toes touching, his breath hot on my face. “Tell me something. Why the fuck have you been keeping all of this to yourself all this time? You had ten years to come at me with this.”

“It didn’t matter so much until…” My voice died, my throat closing up.

“Until what?” His eyes darted over my face. “Why couldn’t you tell me? You had every opportunity. We could’ve worked this out.”

“How did I know I was supposed to trust you? How could I make myself believe you wouldn’t run away again?” My voice trembled, but I pushed through, determined to get it all out once and for all. “And what the hell difference does it make anyway? This changes nothing. What’s done is done. You broke my heart, and nothing is ever going to change that.”

His face fell, a breath bursting out of him like he got kicked. “Valentina…”

“I loved you,” I told him. To hell with pride, to hell withconsequences. What did any of it matter anymore? I didn’t even care that I would have to face him after this since our lives were so inextricably connected. Tears filled my eyes, and my voice shook, but I had to get it out. “I loved you, and you let me down, and I can’t believe you would expect me to forget all of that and move on with you when you never even bothered to apologize. And don’t tell me you didn’t know there was something to apologize for,” I added before he could say exactly that. “You left, and you wrote me off, and you have had ten years to make it right. You didn’t want to. I get it. But don’t act like your change of heart means a damn thing because it doesn’t.”

A red sedan pulled up in the courtyard and flashed its lights. I checked the plate against the information in the app to confirm. “That’s my ride.”

“You’re still leaving? Now?” He sounded incredulous.

“That’s typically what a person does when they get in the car,” I called out, my heels crunching on the gravel as I headed for a car that was now my salvation. I was shaking from head to toe, my stomach churning, tears nearly blinding me.

“Running isn’t going to do anything,” he reminded me, hot on my heels.

“It seems like it always helped you,” I retorted. He tried to keep me from opening the back door, but one look at my tear-stained face seemed to take the fight out of him. He fell back a step, his face going slack. “Enjoy the rest of the night,” I whispered before climbing into the back seat.

“I’m sorry.” He spread his arms in a helpless shrug. “That’s all I can say. I’m sorry.”

“See? It wasn’t so hard to say that, after all.” I didn’t give a shit about his sorrow or his regret as I closed the door. He only apologized when it was convenient for him.

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