Page 42 of Silent Cravings

I stiffened my spine and lifted my chin. He was not going to coerce me into fucking him tonight or ever again, for that matter. We were never going to have what Colton and Rose found, and I wanted that. I never knew how much until now, with my heart aching and my spirits crumpled. I wanted what they had. Was that so much to ask?I deserve that.

With a tight, cheerless smile, I said, “I realize you’ve gotten used to getting your dick wet whenever we’re together, but that’s not happening right now.”

“Would you at least tell me what’s wrong? You’ve been acting strangely since Thursday night, Friday morning, whatever you want to call it.” He waved a hand which he then pointed to the bed. “One minute, we’re talking like two normal people, and the next minute, you can’t be bothered to say goodnight before turning your back on me. Do you think I’m going to put up with this forever?”

Touching a hand to my chest, I gasped. “Poor thing! How dare I not spread my legs whenever your dick jumps. You are such a heroic figure. Who do you think will play you in the movie about your life?”

“Oh, fuck off,” he scoffed, sneering down at me. Incrediblehow quickly his attitude changed when sex was off the table. He backed away, shaking his head. “You want to be childish, be my guest. I don’t have to waste my time witnessing it.”

“That’s right…” I laughed as he headed for the door, “… I wouldn’t want to waste your precious time. I forgot your life is so much more important than mine and always has been.”

“What does that mean?” He turned around in the doorway, which his broad shoulders almost filled.

“Why don’t you think about it for a little bit?” I asked, folding my arms as I marched toward him. “You’re a grown-up. I shouldn’t have to spell it out for you.”

I tried to close the door on him, but he was too fast, shoving a hand up to hold it partly open. “Are you ever going to get tired of shutting me out whenever you get a little bit uncomfortable?”

For some reason, out of everything that had happened between us, that struck me as hilarious, if not a little sad. “Look who’s talking. The man who washed his hands of me the second things got complicated.”

There was no way that surprised him. He had to know I would throw it in his face one day. Or was he truly as self-absorbed as I had once believed and convinced myself to forget?

After a moment or two of sputtering on his part, I shook my head in disappointment. “Go take a cold shower,” I muttered, taking a second to watch confusion play over his chiseled features before I closed the door between us.

This time, it would have to stay closed. No matter how it hurt, no matter how I wished otherwise.

We were over.

We’d been over for a long, long time.

16

EVAN

“This is it. Are you ready?”

Colton looked my way in the mirror while adjusting his necktie for maybe the tenth time. He wouldn’t have admitted it out loud, but he was nervous. I had seen enough grooms in my country clubs to recognize it at first glance. Trying like hell to look confident, since who hadn’t heard countless jokes their entire life about grooms getting cold feet and having second thoughts? He didn’t want to be one of them, and I couldn’t blame him. We both had too much pride.

At least, I thought I had. A certain bridesmaid I had yet to see today made me think otherwise.

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be,” he told me, turning away from the mirror in the private dressing room attached to my office. Being the boss had its perks, and I needed to look fresh no matter what the day brought.

Lucian and Noah were already downstairs, greeting guests as they arrived. The ceremony was due to begin in twenty minutes, meaning we’d have to head down shortly. Guests would want to see the groom before the wedding.

“You’ve got a lot of people down there rooting for the two of you,” I pointed out. “Are you feeling good about this?”

“Why does it sound like you’re trying to convince me not to go through with it?” He was laughing, so I knew he wasn’t serious, though I wondered if he was right. Did I sound that way?

“You know that’s not how I mean it,” I insisted. “You look a little shaky, that’s all. I’m not trying to get in your head. I only want to understand.”

“I’m not shaky on my choice. Trust me when I tell you that. I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He ran a hand over his carefully combed hair like he wanted to be sure it was in place before adjusting his cuffs and his tie once again. “I’m not worried about Rose. She’s the one.”

“Are you worried about yourself?“ I guessed, and the way he winced told me I hit the bullseye.

“This isn’t like me,” he said with a sigh, rolling his shoulders like he was trying to loosen them up. “I’ve never doubted myself for a minute. I know who I am. I know what I want.”

“Absolutely. You always have.”

“But I’m standing here, waiting to go down there and marry this incredible woman, and I’m wondering if I have what it takes to be everything she needs.”

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