Page 2 of Silent Cravings

“It’s a little loud in here,” I mumbled, sipping slowly since I was no longer alone in the room. “Just a headache. That’s all.”

She looked like she didn’t believe me but knew better than to press me on it. I wasn’t exactly what anybody would call patient on a good day, and this was not shaping up to be the best.

What would it have been like being a mom all these years?

That was a stupid question, completely impossible to answer. I gritted my teeth against it and bolted back what was left in my glass when Sienna wasn’t looking. I wouldn’t be able to get away without congratulating them, so I returned to the living room and made a point to smile and be happy while waiting to talk to the happy couple.

“You are just the person I wanted to talk to,” Rose told me after a hug so tight I was glad to escape with my ribs intact. “This is really going to mess with the wedding planning. I don’t want to be super far along.”

“We don’t have to think about that right now,” I told her since there was only so much I could handle all at once.

“But still,” she insisted. “It’s really going to push things up. Are you going to be okay with that?”

“Sweetie.” I took her face in my hands. “It is so like you to worry about everybody else except yourself at a time like this. But I am telling you, everything’s going to be great.” That was what I did. I told people things they needed to believe while I took the brunt of the weight of figuring things out. I’d sort of made a career out of it.

“Yeah, don’t insult her.” Colton winked at me. “She’s the most organized, kick-ass person I know. She can make miracles happen. Can’t you, Valentina?”

“Butter me up all you want, cousin,” I told him. “I’m still charging for my services.”

At least that got Rose laughing instead of being so anxious. “I just don’t want anybody to be put out too much. Though I still want everything to be perfect,” she added.

“It will be. Didn’t your baby daddy just say so?” If I could make jokes, that meant I’d be all right. Didn’t it? It was just a surprise, that’s all. Nothing more than that. I could handle this. After all, I had handled it all these years, carrying a secret I couldn’t imagine sharing with anybody but my sister, Aria. But then, that was only because I didn’t have a choice.

I was a grown woman with experience under her belt. My own business, a phone full of contacts representing an enormous network of clients and associates. I had my shit together.

Life turned out the way it was meant to.

Somehow, I couldn’t quite swallow the thought as truth. Nor did it stop me from craving another drink with my entire being. Anything to ease the persistent ache in my chest.

I promised Rose I would visit her office on Mondaymorning so we could go over a revised timeline for the wedding. If anything, it would give me something to focus on that didn’t involve my fucked-up past poor decision-making.

Where the hell was Evan?

I didn’t want to see him. Something told me I wouldn’t be able to hold it together if I did. With any luck, he would be in the process of working his way into some dumb girl’s panties by now.

Usually, a thought like that would make me snicker to myself. Like most men, he was ruled by his dick. Add looks and money, and you’d end up with a recipe for a guy who could get laid just about anywhere any time. I’d normally laugh off the constant search for pussy. At most, I’d roll my eyes and make jokes about buying stock in a condom company. Now, though, the idea of him moving on with his night without a second thought left me thirstier than ever.

I returned to the kitchen and refilled my glass, ignoring the excited and semidrunken chatter around me. When was the last time I had tried to numb myself like this? I couldn’t afford to think of it that way, not in front of so many people. This was self-preservation, pure and simple.

“Whoa, there.” I didn’t notice Noah coming up behind me until I stumbled while turning away from the bar. He caught me laughing softly. “Maybe you need to slow down a little,” he suggested.

Maybe you need to mind your own business.Right, because that wouldn’t look completely out of line and out of nowhere. “I’m good,” I assured him, and I even managed to give him a little smile. “Really. I’m fine.”

The idiot insisted on leaning back and waving a hand in front of his face. “You smell like you just took a bath in abottle of Smirnoff,” he informed me. “How many of me do you see right now?”

“Fuck off.” I ended with a laugh, and he joined me, but those lines between his eyebrows didn’t shift even a tiny bit. If anything, they got deeper. No matter what he thought, I wasn’t so drunk I couldn’t see straight.

“Sienna said you have a headache,” he explained because suddenly everyone was obsessed with me. “Maybe this isn’t where you need to be right now.”

“Since when are you my nanny?” I grumbled. His head snapped back a little. I’d gone too far. “Sorry,” I offered, trying to cover for my attitude. “I guess I have had too much. Maybe I should go home so I don’t ruin anything.”

“Nobody said you were ruining anything.” He reached out to awkwardly pat my shoulder. “It happens. Remember the night I drank all that tequila and wound up face down in the middle of your living room? Who helped me clean myself up?”

“That was sort of selfish on my part,” I reminded him as I flinched at the memory. “I didn’t want my first apartment stinking like puke.”

“The point stands.” With a grin, he asked, “Do you want me to get you home? Make sure you get in okay?”

I was tipsy. I wasn’t fall-down drunk. “No, it’s cool. I’ll get an Uber or something.”

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