Page 1 of Absolute Devotion

one

NALA

The room feels empty but I have no idea what it needs. Moving from my brother’s house into the little apartment building down the street isn’t what I thought it would be. The eerie nighttime winds rushing past the rickety structure have me looking over my shoulder more often than not. Even knowing that Michael is gone—the Alpha that tormented me and my brother’s Omega, Kieran—I can’t sit still. Because something is wrong with this room.

My gaze moves along the browning walls, the sparse furniture pushed up against the edges, showing just how much space this studio has. It’s too big and not enough all at once but I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve thought about adding a splash of color but I’ve only been here a little while since the incident at my brother’s house.

My chest tightens at the terrifying memory from two weeks ago—the moment when an Alpha burst into that home andtried to claim Kieran as his own. Michael had been working for an organization called POCA or the Prized Omega Collection Agency where his entire job was acquiring Omegas that didn’t fit the societal norms. Kieran is just over six feet and is larger than one of his own Alphas and me… well, my scent is ‘overpowered’. At least, that’s what the doctor mentioned a few months ago.

I slap a hand over my gland, glad that the patch I put there earlier is still there. One whiff of my scent and Alphas and Betas clamor toward me, demanding my submission. They never seeme, though. It’s always just a primitive response to our biological connection. At the academy, I used to think that it gave me some kind of status to have Alphas wanting me like that.

When Michael found me, feeding me all the pretty words I could possibly want to hear, I thought I had finally found someone who wanted me.

I don’t think that anymore.

Because all of those words were nothing more than diamond-crusted lies. He was never going to give me my happy ending. He just wanted to fulfill his quota of Omegas.

Memories of lavish dinners and the way he used to caress my cheek filter into my head. All the times my Omega preened for him as he strengthened our connection. The ghost of his fingers still haunts me, a feeling that I can't get out of my head.

You're a perfect Omega, Nala,he'd purr in my ear.

My body shudders as I stuff those memories down as far as they will go. I know that I'm not perfect.

In fact, I don’t trust any of those biological instincts because they’ve always led me astray. I can’t even trust my growing affection for the two officers who helped during Kieran’s case.Zahria and Xylo.My thoughts have been filled with fantasies of them, my body craving their touch, while logic tells me that they’ll react the same as everyone else.

The moment the patch comes off, they’ll lunge and try to tear me apart, letting their designation speak for them instead of their rationale.They won’t hurt me,I try to tell myself but it does nothing for me.

I tuck myself farther under the covers, a shiver running down my spine as I wrap the duvet around my body. The warmth isn’t enough, though. I don’t know what I’m missing but the growing heat in the pit of my belly just makes this worse. This is the worst time for a heat, when I’m still trying to figure out my life. The part-time position at the preschool with one of my brother’s Alphas, Ren, is a godsend but it doesn’t take up enough of my time.

My mind still wanders, wondering what would happen if things were different, if I never met Michael, if my parents truly loved me, if my brother never left… The spiral is an easy slide to take until only despair and unhappiness are my friends. The budding woman my brother saw as I decided to rent an apartment two weeks ago is gone.

I gave them my best smile, my head held high but this can't be my entire existence. Hiding under my covers on my day off until the nightmares go away is no way to live.

The heat grows to something almost unbearable, shooting through my limbs as I wrap my arms around my stomach and curl in on myself. At the academy, I could easily call a rent-an-Alpha service to take care of this pesky little problem. Here, I have no idea how that works or if the town of Emsboro even has one. Being only 21, most services try to direct me to an Omega Center because I ‘still have so much life ahead of me’. But I don’t want a pack who wants me for my scent.

I want a little romance. A family. A forever. Is that too much to ask?

When another wave of heat washes over me, I kick off the blankets and reach for my phone. That’s when I see my brother, Joel’s worried messages.

Hey, are you doing alright?

If you’re up for it, can you call me?

Nala, I know we don’t know each other like we used to but I know something is wrong. Talk to me.

My heart breaks a little. Joel used to be my best friend, my hero, and my entire world until he left home. As a Beta, he wasn’t tied down by the same rules I was. Our parents were abusive at best but I still blamed him for leaving me with them—even if it wasn’t his fault.

A few years at the academy gave me the tools I needed to graduate but also stuck me in a nightmare that I thought Michael was going to save me from. Instead, it just threw me into a different hell. Two weeks ago, through Michael’s own mistakes, I found my brother and his pack.

And I couldn’t be happier knowing I have family a few blocks down the street but there’s still something missing. It’s why I’m in this little room and not in their guest bedroom, rocking my little nephews to sleep. I decide to call my brother in the morning but the phone suddenly rings, Joel’s number scrolling across the screen.

Fuck.

“Yeah?”

Joel sighs, relieved. “Nala? It’s good to hear your voice. I haven’t seen you in a day or two and I was—”

“I’m okay,” I whisper. “Why are you calling? It’s late.” I’m not okay. I can’t sleep and my heat is starting but Joel doesn’t need to know any of that. More than anything, I want him to have the happy ending that I’m refusing to let myself entertain.

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