Page 82 of Mind Pucked

Istand in front of the mirror in my room, pulling a Jays jersey over a white T-shirt. My heart thumps in my throat as anger fills me up all over again.

I don’t want to see Amelia at all, but I guess it’s impossible to get what I want.

I didn’t feel right taking her away from Hayden after all this. Now that I’ve had a chance to think about things a little more, I wish I’d just fired her as well.

Hayden loves her—and that is theonlyreason I didn’t. That little girl has been through so much in her short little life, I couldn’t take away someone who makes her so happy.

I leave my room and head to Hayden’s room to get her ready. Once she’s dressed and ready to go out with Amelia, I help her with her shoes and we head downstairs. I grab her snack bag and pack her a drink and then I head back to the living room with her.

“Why don’t you love Amelia anymore?” she asks me as we wait by the front door.

“Honey…” I pause, trying to think of something to say that will make sense to her. “Sometimes, adults just decide not to talk to each other anymore.”

“Is it otay if I still talk to her, Daddy?” she asks, and it breaks my heart.

“Of course you can talk to her,” I say to her softly. “Daddy would never take that away from you.”

“Good, because I love her, Daddy,” Hayden says, and sadness flows through me all over again.

The amount of anger and frustration I feel over finding out that not only is Preston alive, but is Amelia’s brother, is insurmountable. The entire time we’ve been together, the entire time she’s been here with my daughter, that woman assumed I had something to do with her brother’s death. You can’t just forgive something like that.

I can’t.

No matter how many times I’ve tried to bring myself to forgive her, forgiveness doesn’t come, and anger resides in all the places where love used to be. I still miss her fiercely, but something in me is completely broken now that she’s not here, but only she’s to blame for that.

A knock sounds at the door before I can say anything else to Hayden. I know it’s Amelia, but it seems strange. She was practically living here before, and now she’s knocking at the door.

I reach over and unlock the door.

“Amelia!” Hayden squeals as she runs into her arms.

“Are you ready to go to the park?” she asks my little girl as she picks her up, though her voice seems strained.

“Yes, is Daddy coming with us?” Hayden asks as she turns her attention to me.

“No, Daddy has to go run a few errands and head to practice,” I say to her as I reach over and kiss her on the head. “You and Amelia are coming back here later. She’s going to fix dinner for you and hang out until Daddy gets home.”

“Will you love her when you get home?” she asks, and my mind races as my eyes meet Amelia’s just for a moment.

“We talked about this, baby,” I say to her softly.

“I know, Daddy,” she says sadly, but then she turns back to Amelia. “Let’s go to the park!” she squeals. “Bye, Daddy,” she adds as she leans over and kisses my cheek.

I watch as Amelia puts her down and takes her hand to walk her to the park.

“Oh, Amelia—” I say, and she spins around like she’s shocked I’ve spoken to her. “You forgot this,” I say, handing her the snack and drink bag I packed for Hayden.

“Oh.” She reaches over and takes the bag. “Thanks,” she says, before turning and walking away with my daughter.

I close the door as my mind runs a mile a minute. My heart is running just as fast, if not faster. I don’t know that I can keep doing this…seeing Amelia repeatedly is going to be the death of me.

This would be so much better if I never saw her again.

I huff as I walk into the kitchen and grab my keys from the counter. I pause as I replay the memory of me fucking Amelia in here, on this same counter. The day I first asked her to be mine. We came so close to being caught by Hayden.

I fight a small smile at the memory, but then everything else comes rushing through my mind, and the moment’s gone.

I head toward the side door to get to my car. When I open the door, I’m shocked to come face-to-face with my mother. She’s about to knock, standing there with a chocolate cake in her hands.

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