Page 75 of Mind Pucked

“You’ve got to be making this shit up. Why would you tell me all this? Why are you doing this?” he rants.

My heart breaks and I try to reach for him, but he steps back, not allowing me to touch him.

“Jackson, please. I’m not making anything up. I thought the same thing at first when the wreck happened, but he explained everything to me when I saw him in Cincinnati that day,” I say.

“What do you mean you thought the same thing? What did you think?” He stared at me with a hard gaze. “You didn’t put two and two together that the Preston I talked about was your brother? You’ve been asking for details about the wreck and what was found at the scene, but you’ve known the whole time. What kind of game have you been playing?”

“If I’m being honest, I did think they might have been sleeping together, and if I thought that, then maybe you did too,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest.

“What would it matter if I did think that?” he asks, a confused look on his face.

“Sometimes jealous husbands do things they wouldn’t normally do,” I reply tentatively.

The confusion changes to a look of shock. “You thought I’d be capable of killing your brother?” He shakes his head, his anger rising even more. “How could you think that of me? We’ve never really liked each other, but I’d never kill him.”

“I wanted to be sure,” I say softly.

“So, if you thought I was capable of killing your brother, then I’d have to be capable of killing my wife too, right?” he asks me, his face full of rage.

“No! I know you’d never do that! Her being there was an accident,” I reply. “My father put a hit out on Preston because Preston found out he wasn’t his father, and my father was afraid Preston he would tell secrets of the family business to others, especially Lyla, since Preston had only just found out Lyla was his half sister on his dad’s side. Preston has been in Cincinnati trying to figure out how to take my father down.” I can hear how far-fetched the story sounds, but I pray he’ll believe me. It’s the only thing that makes sense, puts all the pieces together…

“I can’t believe you actually did this to me, to Hayden. You pretended not to know anything about them, and you wormed your way in trying to figure out if I killed them. You lied about everything, didn’t you? You lied about us?”

“Of course not! I’m sorry I didn’t tell you any of this, Jackson. I was afraid. I was afraid of what you’d think. I know that you and Preston have never gotten along, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react to having his sister as your nanny. But I never lied aboutmy feelings for you. I care about you so much. Everything I’ve said to you is true. Everything I feel about you—it’s real for me.”

He looks at me and shakes his head, tears streaming down his face. I reach out to wipe them from his cheeks, but he bats my hand away.

“Get out. We’re done,” he says in a low, angry tone.

My heart completely shatters in my chest at his words. My world crashes down around me and my head is spinning. I fight the tears that threaten to spill down my face, and I shake my head, unwilling to believe it’s going to end just like that. I know I should’ve told him the truth, but I’m trying to make it right. Why can’t he forgive me?

“Jackson, please, don’t do this,” I whisper as I fight to keep my voice steady. “I’m sorry about everything.”

“You can continue being Hayden’s nanny, because she’s been through so much in her short little life, but you and I are nothing but boss and employee,” he says. “Get out. Now.”

“Jackson, I’m sorry—it was wrong of me to assume the things I did about you, and it was wrong of me to try and investigate it on my own and lie to you, but my feelings for you are real. Please, please forgive me,” I beg as tears begin to slide down my cheeks.

For a moment I see his eyes soften as he sees the tears, but then the mask goes up and his gaze is hard again. His jaw clenches and unclenches in time with his fists.

“Amelia! We’re through! Get the fuck out of my house and don’t come back until it’s time for you to watch Hayden again.”

My eyes search his face for any kind of remorse or uncertainty, and when I don’t find any, I run for the entryway, grabbing mypurse. I fling the door open, looking back at him one more time before leaving the house.

Once the door closes behind me, sobs rack my chest and my heart shatters as I leave him behind. I have no idea how I’m going to be able to continue working for him after this, but I have to find a way for the sake of that little girl. She’s been through too much to lose another person she loves, and I won’t do that to her. I won’t let him do it to her either. I’ll continue working there no matter what it takes or how much it hurts.

20

JACKSON

Ifeel as though my brain has been put in a blender. I can’t get over Amelia’s betrayal, but more than that, I don’t know what to say to Hayden.

Aside from all that, my anger has gotten the better of me, and I’m not performing like I should on the ice. With the big game coming, I know it’s only a matter of time before Coach catches on and says something to me.

I’ve stopped hanging with the guys, and have stayed home other than practice and games. They keep bugging me about what’s going on with me, but I don’t want to talk to anyone about what happened. I know they all mourn the loss of Preston, but if they knew he was alive…what would they think? I don’t need them all to pity me either. I would hate it if they felt sorry for me for being lied to.

That thought sends chills of anger through my body again.

I wish I could talk to my mom about all this, but I don’t want to bother her about it. We just saw them in Ohio, and I just told her about Amelia and me. Meanwhile the whole time Haydenand I were with them, Amelia was with her supposed-to-be-dead brother.

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