Page 74 of Mind Pucked

“When I was shopping the other day, the old friend I ran into was Preston,” I say softly.

Jackson’s eyes snap to mine and immediately harden. His brows furrow in confusion, and maybe even anger. He shakes his head as if he doesn’t want to believe what I’m saying.

“What? Come on, Amelia, don’t play around like that. That’s cruel.”

I watch him swallow hard. His throat bobs with the motion and I can hear him trying to steady his breathing. His hands clench and unclench, and his eyes bore into me as if examining my soul.

“I’m not playing around. I would never joke around about something like this. He was in one of the stores I went into after buying the shoes. He helped me pick the dress,” I tell him.

He laughs a bitter laugh, and moves away from me, looking at me as if he doesn’t know who I am anymore. I know it’s only going to get worse.

“Why didn’t you just tell me it was him? Why did you lie and say it was an old friend?” he asks. “Are you sure it was really him?”

“I didn’t lie, technically. He’s an old friend, but he’s also my brother,” I say, holding his gaze.

I watch as a myriad of emotions cross his face, and I brace myself for the storm of emotions that are about to come my way. He looks away from me for a few moments as he puts his hands on his hips and bites his bottom lip. His face twists into a look of pain, then anger. His lip quivers and I know he’s fighting back tears, and it tears my heart up. I never wanted to be the reason he feels pain. I never wanted to hurt him. I knew before I applied for the nanny position that it could go wrong, but I applied for it anyway. I know that things are about to get extremely bad, and I pray I can somehow fix this.

“What the fuck did you just say? Say it again.” At my hesitation, he bellows, “Say it again, Amelia!”

“Shh, Jackson, you’ll wake Hayden,” I say softly as I try to keep the tears at bay even though they’re burning the back of my eyes. “He’s…my brother.”

“Preston is your brother, and you didn’t tell me? Why wouldn’t you tell me something like that? Why did you pretend like you didn’t know who he was? You lied to me!” he cries out, anger bubbling to the surface.

His fist slams into the counter beside him, and for a moment I think the countertop is going to shatter. I reach out to stop him from doing it again, but he pulls back from my touch. My heartcracks when he does, and I know that this is really bad, and I may not be able to fix things.

The way he looks at me tells me that my worst fear might be coming true, and I can’t handle that thought. I’m going to lose him. I’m going to lose Hayden. I can see it coming as I watch him process the things I’ve said. I can tell he’s putting everything together in his mind and my heart aches that I’ve done this to him. I’ve made him doubt me, the things I’ve said, and us.

His face is red, and his fists are clenched at his sides. For a moment, I almost wish he’d hit me. I feel so guilty about everything I want to feel something else. I want to feel pain to distract me from the guilt that sits heavy in my chest. I don’t voice what I’m thinking as we stare at each other for a few seconds.

“Answer me, Amelia,” he demands through gritted teeth. “Now. I deserve an answer.”

“I didn’t think it mattered if you knew he was my brother or not,” I reply softly, unable to meet his gaze now. My heart aches as I hear him suck in a breath.

I know that’s wrong. I’ve always known it mattered. But if I’d told him from the beginning, it would’ve ruined everything. It would’ve been over before anything got started. My eyes stay trained on the floor as tears slip down my cheeks. I can feel the anger radiating from him, and I know if I look up at him it’s going to break my heart in two.

I hear him struggling to catch his breath and for a moment, I fear he’s going to have a panic attack he’s breathing so hard. It feels like he’s staring holes into my soul. I want to look at him because I know it’s most likely going to be my last time seeing him, but Ican’t bring myself to meet his eyes. I know it’ll be too painful. I keep my eyes on the floor. My heart feels like it’s going to fall out of my chest into the pit of my stomach. I’m beginning to wish I’d never seen Preston in that store.

I feel Jackson slipping away from me with each passing second and I know there’s nothing I can do about it. I’m losing him. I just got him, and now I’m losing him. He’s going to take Hayden away from me too, I just know it.

The more I think about it, the more my heart sinks and my stomach swirls. I fight back a wave of nausea, and I grip the counter. I think I see concern flash in his eyes, but it’s gone just as quickly as it appears.

“Look at me, Amelia. I want you to look into my eyes and tell me the truth. No more lies. I want the truth. You really didn’t think it mattered whether I knew or not?”

I look up at him, my heart aching at the pain etched on his face. His eyes hold the betrayal in them, and I know he has every right to feel that way. I know I should’ve told him right from the start that I know Preston and am related to him. I messed things up. I sigh heavily and look down again, unable to see the pain in his eyes anymore.

“The fact that Preston is my brother has no effect on my skills as a nanny, Jackson.”

“You didn’t think it mattered? He got my wife killed—of course it matters!” he roars. “He was sleeping with my wife! It definitely fucking matters!”

I look up then and watch as he rakes a hand through his hair, pacing back and forth in front of me. I can tell he’s trying toprocess what I’ve told him, and I know I need to tell him the rest to clear Preston’s name with him.

“They weren’t sleeping together, Jackson,” I say quietly. “Please believe me. Preston wouldn’t do that, no matter how he feels about someone.”

“I suppose he told you that?” he asks sharply.

His tone makes me recoil a bit. I know this side of him is the one I’ll most likely get from now on, but there’s a part of me that still hopes he’ll be able to forgive me.

“Lyla was his half sister,” I tell him.

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