Page 59 of Mind Pucked

“It’s Daddy, I’ll be up there in just a minute, sweetheart,” he says, holding the button on our end so she can hear him.

“Otay, Daddy,” her little voice says softly as I throw my sweater over my head and pull on my panties and leggings.

Somehow, Jackson is already dressed, and I wonder if he has his long hockey career to thank for the swiftness.

We both look at one another with wide eyes, and then break out in hysterical laughter as I reach down and grab the hand towel I ditched on the floor at the start of everything.

I go back to cleaning as Jackson turns to go check on Hayden, though he turns at the last moment and smacks me on the ass before he goes.

“Oh!” I say as I jolt forward, laughing at his antics. I still have a grin on my face as he walks out to go check on the little girl who I’m learning needs me just as much as I need her.

As I clean and sanitize the counter we just had sex on, my rational thought comes back to me slowly. The thoughts I’ve been holding at bay due to my longing for Jackson begin coming back in. I try to push them away, they need to stay away, but here it is again…the real reason I’m here.

I didn’t come here to be a nanny and fall in love with this child. I didn’t come here to fall for her father either…the man who’s suspect number one in my mind…but I have.

I just don’t really believe anymore that he’s capable of doing the things I thought…thinkhe did to my brother. I’ve created a war within myself that I never intended to create.

I just need to figure out what side of the war I’m on…the side where my brain makes sense or the side where my heart wants to win. I’m thinking my heart needs a chance to come out victorious in the end…for once.

14

JACKSON

Practice is intense, but I love it when I get amped up and there isn’t even a game. Coach helps so much with the strategies he gives us, but I think my current mood helps the situation too.

Geared up and with my stick in my hand, I skate down the ice between Oliver and Vaughn, toward Felix at the goal on the other side of the ice. Once I get there, Oliver twists, sending the puck toward me. I grab hold of it as I skate at breakneck speed toward the other end of the ice. We’re in the middle of a scrimmage between the B team and us. These scrimmages are my favorite. Sure, I like going head-to-head with other teams, but playing with our own guys is so fun.

There’s a kind of challenge to it that isn’t here during the games, and it’s the best way to show who’s improved and who hasn’t. This is the reason you have a back-up string…that and just in case one of us A team players gets hurt or can’t be on the ice for some reason.

It’s a little hard to focus after the conversation and celebration Amelia and I had the other day. Things have been so goodbetween us. I don’t know that anything could change the way I feel about her. I fight the distraction as I glide down the ice toward the goal.

I smile as I turn to avoid Andrew who’s coming my way. I fake left and go right as I spin, our backs nearly touching as I pass. I feel the whoosh of his jersey against mine as I barely miss him and come out on the other side, still in control of the puck.

Andrew plays the same position as I do, just on the other side. He knows we barely avoided collision back there, but that doesn’t stop us. For being on the B team, Andrew is getting better and one day may even be good enough to take my place…if and when I ever decide to retire or be traded.

Not that I ever think that will happen…at least I hope not. Not anytime soon anyway.

I chuckle to myself as I stick the puck and allow it to glide down the ice, but I don’t allow it to get out of control, my blades slicing off the cool surface with ease. I get close enough to Collin, their goalie, and pause for a moment, sliding across the ice, spraying bits of shaved ice over my legs.

I can feel the adrenaline running as I stick back, breathing before slapping the stick to the puck, allowing it to sail through the air, past Collin’s defense, allowing it to swoosh against the net.

“Damn it,” Collin says as he throws his gloves to the ground with a grunt of disappointment. “How is it you’re always getting past me?”

I smile broadly at his tantrum, knowing that no matter how good Collin is, Felix will always be better than him. Felix is the best I’ve ever seen. I know Coach has worked hard to keep him. He’sbeen up for negotiation six times, and every single time, Coach has managed to keep him as ours.

I couldn’t imagine any of these guys not being here. Losing Preston nearly killed us as a team, but we got stronger over the past couple of years. We don’t need to lose anyone for any reason.

The thought of Preston sends my mind into a whole other realm, and I have to focus not to go down that rabbit hole.

After a few more plays, Coach calls a break. I skate to the edge of the rink and edge off, removing my skates and some gear before taking a seat on the bleachers. I take a long drink of my water before grabbing my phone to make sure I haven’t missed any calls or messages.

I have twelve missed calls and five messages…all from Amelia.

Call me please, it’s important, the texts say in various ways, but none of them give any detail as to why.

My heart races as I dial her number and bring my phone up to my ear to wait for her to answer. It takes less than five seconds for her to pick up.

“Jackson,” she says, and I can’t help but hear a little bit of panic in her voice. I might be reading into the tone a little too much, but it’s the way my mind works.

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