Page 39 of Mind Pucked

It’s making me a nervous wreck and causing me to pay less attention to my job, which I shouldn’t ever allowed to happen considering my job involves the welfare of a precious, innocent little girl.

“I need a red block,” Hayden announces as she pokes me on the hand I have covering a blue one. “You’re silly today. I know more colors than you.”

See? I can’t even listen to her requests with an open mind. I’m in another world and that’s not okay. Any other day I’d have already anticipated her need and the red block would be waiting for her before she even asked.

Worse, I have no idea how many times she asked me for it before she poked me to get my attention.

Not good, Amelia. Quit dwelling on the past and making stupid mistakes.

I’m in this situation to get closer to Jackson in order to discover what happened to Preston, not to go to bed with him. Sleeping with your enemy is always a bad idea, even repulsive in some cases.

Although, in this case it’s definitely not repulsive. The chemistry between us is almost ballistic, and I can’t deny how easily he turns me to mush with just a smile.

“Please,” Hayden says again.

“I’m so sorry, sweetie. Here you go,” I say, picking up the red block from beneath my knee and passing it to her. “Look at what a wonderful tower you’ve built. I’m so impressed. Do you live there?”

“A princess does,” she calmly replies. “I’m Daddy’s princess. Not a real one.”

I tweak her cute little nose and laugh. “Of course you’re a real one. Who told you differently?”

“Joseph did. He says princesses live with queens and kings, not hockey dads.”

Of course it was Joseph, Quinn’s son. He likes to tease, and Hayden is too young to understand. Joseph also enjoys bursting fantasies whenever he can. He’s a lot like the hockey players he idolizes. Men are all the same, starting at birth.

“Don’t worry about what anyone says, Hayden. We can be anything we want to be, including a princess. It’s all about attitude. When someone says something against what you believe just smile and tell them you can choose to be anything you want and so can they.”

“Like this,” Hayden exclaims while giving me her best cheeky smile, which is simply too adorable for words to explain.

“That’s perfect. No one can resist that grin. And it’s definitely a princess grin. But if you aren’t the princess in your tower, who is?” I ask, trying to keep her engaged in her project.

“Mommy,” she states. “I just know she is.”

My heart breaks as she speaks. Her little face is full of joy as she continues to build, not knowing how difficult it is for me to hear her words. My smile is gone.

I forget sometimes that I’m not the only one who lost a loved one in that wreck, and the guilt over using this nanny job to find out why I lost my brother returns tenfold.

“If she’s in that tower, then she’s watching you grow as tall as it is,” Jackson says from behind me. “And she’s blowing you extra kisses from the window.”

He swoops Hayden off the floor and swings her high into the air. She giggles like she always does, then circles his neck with a big hug, squeezing until she makes him pretend to squeal. It’s amazing how resilient children are.

“Daddy’s home,” she announces happily.

“I see that. I bet you’re as surprised as I am,” I reply.

He stares at me for an instant as if wondering why I sound miffed. I sort of wonder why I do as well. It’s his home, his child, and his life.

He can come home early anytime he wants to. I don’t have a right to get frustrated and definitely not angry, yet here I am building up a huge pile of both that would reach the top of Hayden’s tower.

“I think it’s a surprise to all of us. Maybe I should have called ahead, but when they told us to leave early because of an electrical problem in the building we all raced out like a bunch of kids released from school. I’m sorry if I’m screwing up some big plans or something,” he apologizes as he tickles Hayden.

“Outside, Daddy. Play outside,” she says between giggles.

“We have to clean up the blocks and have a snack first,” I remind her.

“Daisy,” she whimpers with a pouty face she uses to get her way. She’s already learning to use her womanly wiles, especially where Jackson is concerned. He’s ready to give in, so I quickly speak up.

“Daisy has to eat a snack too. Her mom will bring her over in about thirty minutes, so there’s no time to argue. Let’s put the blocks away so we can have some grapes and string cheese. We need energy to play outside,” I explain.

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