Page 36 of Mind Pucked

It doesn’t matter how many times I try to convey my preference to stay in and do nothing, it doesn’t stop them from trying to getme to go out with them. This time, I’m considering it. I know I’ve made a lot of progress this week with my efforts to move forward. Whether I was planning on being intimate with Amelia or not, it was a huge step in permitting myself to do something I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing for the past two years. Taking the steps to clear out a few more things was big as well.

It could be time to keep trying new things, and to stop being so afraid of what might happen if I get out into the world.

“I’m sorry it’s so last minute,” I continue, “I know your next scheduled day isn’t until Monday, but I could really use your help this weekend if you aren’t too busy. I think I’m going out with the guys and could use a hand.”

Amelia flashes a smile and leans down to Hayden, nudging her gently on the shoulder. “You hear that, kiddo? It’s your lucky day. You’ll get your balloon soon. I’m coming by this weekend.”

Hayden smiles through her drying tears and offers up an enthusiastic, “Yay!”

“Great,” I say. “I’ll text you the details as soon as I have them, okay?”

“Yep,” she says. “You do have my number…”

The way she says that last part could be a small dig at my failure to contact her over the last few days, though I could be overthinking it. I’m so out of practice with dating, casual relationships, or interactions with women in general that I don’t know what to do with it other than brush it off.

I’m only glad things have been smoothed over enough that I don’t have to worry about never seeing her again or leavingHayden disappointed. Even if Amelia isn’t right for me, she’s right for Hayden.

It isn’t until Friday that I get a chance to think about anything other than the awkward interaction between Amelia and myself. It’s been consuming my brain, and I know I need an escape from it.

When Dean calls and asks how I feel about getting the kids together for a playdate I’m more anxious to say yes than usual. I need the distraction and a break from playing dad so intensely. It’s always easier to decompress with other parents around.

By the evening, I have a few snacks out for everyone to munch on and when the doorbell rings Hayden runs over to it. She’s always thrilled to see Dean and Quinn’s little ones, especially since they have a little girl she can play with.

The moment she opens the doors, the kids are already running into the playroom together. I invite Dean and Quinn in as we laugh and shake our heads at the kids’ excitement.

We sit down in the living room, and as I stretch my arms out on the couch where I had sex with Amelia, I can feel myself squirming in my seat. It’s strange having information like that on my mind while Dean and Quinn are trying to catch up on the week’s events.

I don’t even realize I’m zoning out until Dean is snapping his fingers and trying to get my attention. I attempt to laugh it off. I don’t even know how long I’ve been staring out into the air.

“You okay?” Dean asks. “You seem a little out of it, bud.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I say, shrugging it off and grabbing a chip from the table. “It’s just been a long week.”

“Oh yeah?” Quinn asks. “What’s been going on around here?”

I think their jaws would drop open if I told them I had passionate sex on the very couch I’m sitting on with someone who is not Lyla and many years my junior. It isn’t that I don’t think they would be happy for me to be moving forward in some way, but they wouldn’t expect it from me.

“Just a lot of stuff with Hayden,” I say. “Did some cleaning up around here. We’re getting into a new routine with the nanny I hired.”

“Oh, Jackson,” Quinn says, sighing in relief. “I’m so glad to see you getting some help around here with Hayden. It can’t be easy.”

“Yeah, I don’t know how you do it,” Dean says. “You sure you’re alright though, bro? You seem off.”

“I’m fine,” I say, faking a small smile and casually grabbing another chip.

“Would you leave him alone?” Quinn says. She nudges Dean and gives a slight eye roll, “Who wouldn’t be tired with everything on his plate?”

“Thank you, Quinn.” I toast her with a chip dripping in dip and glare at Dean for being an all-too-overbearing friend. “I’m fine.”

“Then come out with us,” Dean says. “You said you’ve got the nanny now, right? You don’t have any more excuses to skip another boys’ night.”

Quinn crosses her arms and leans back in her chair. “Dean and his boys’ nights. I swear, it’s like I have another child in the house at times.”

“You go on your girls’ trips. The man needs to get out of this house.”

Quinn nods her head in agreement. “He has a point. It might be nice for you to get out. And that’s coming from me, Jackson…”

“I did tell Amelia I might need her this weekend,” I admit.

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