Page 18 of Knot the Witch Next Door

I wanted to protest, but I wasn’t certain what my mom would do if I told her I wanted to claim Carmilla. Not that it would stop me. I knew what I wanted. “I’m a full grown Alpha. My mother doesn’t get a say on what I do anymore. Her opinion of us shouldn’t matter to you.”

“It should matter to you,” she shot back feverishly. “She’s your mom! And I won’t be the reason for any break between the two of you.”

“Carmilla.” I hissed between my teeth. The fact that my mom has made her feel bad pissed me off. I had no idea how she acted to Carmilla while I was gone at my apprenticeship, but if the way she treated my sisters was any indication, if I never saw my mom again, I would be fine. “If anything ever happenedbetween my mom and I, it wouldn’t be your fault. She’d be completely to blame. I don’t want you thinking you’ve ever done anything wrong. You’ve been a marvelous neighbor, the best of friends to Rose, and to me… you’ve become so much more.”

Carmilla pressed the pillow to her face trying to hide a sudden wracking sob. I climbed up farther, reaching out to her to comfort her, but she pressed her back up against the wall. “No! Please go away. Go back to your new Omega.”

I gripped the edge of the trap door and frowned. “Do you mean Octavia? She’s—”

“Oh my God! That was Octavia Kent?” She gasped and face planted herself with the pillow again.

“You know her?” My mind frantically tried to grasp what was going on. Had Carmilla seen us at the house? Rosemary might have told her that my mom was attempting to pair me up with Octavia, but I never had any intention to do so, no matter who that Omega might be. I only had eyes for Carmilla.

“Everyone knows her. She was a few years older than me, so we never met, but she was one of the most popular Omegas at our school. She is what our teachers told us to strive to be. Beautiful, feminine, submissive.” Carmilla suddenly went limp. Tears ran down her cheeks. “You have the perfect Omega. Leave me alone.”

Wait. Did Carmilla think Octavia and I were together? No wonder she was flipping out. I let out a long breath and spoke in a soft tone. “Hey gorgeous, Octavia and I aren’t compatible. In fact, she was claimed by a buddy of mine. There’s only one perfect Omega in my life, and that’s you.” She gave a tiny whimper and I leaned toward her as if crawling on my knees to her. There was no other way to fix this than to show her what was in my heart. “I want you as my mate. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ll do anything for you.”

“No,” it came out as a rough whisper as she shook her head. She didn’t look my way but squeezed her eyes shut. Her knuckles were white as she squeezed the pillow. “It can’t be, Deacon. For so many reasons. So please, I’m begging you, leave me be.”

I wanted to roar and shake some sense into her. She wasmine. It couldn’t be any other way, but I knew her. If I pushed this any harder right now, it would guarantee she would never speak to me again. As it was, I didn’t know if she’d let me near her again.

Every instinct said to fight. But that would mean fighting her, and that I couldn’t do. I couldn’t force her to want to be with me. I didn’t want her with me if she didn’t come of her own free will.

Had I been wrong that she felt the same way? Was I seeing my own feelings mirrored on her when they weren’t really there? Fuck. This wasn’t the way I’d wanted it to happen.

I shoved back, lowering down a few rungs on the ladder. I’d shared my heart’s desire with her. She knew I wanted her. As much as I wanted to fight, I needed to respect her wish for me to leave her alone and wait for her to make the next move.

“No matter what you think might happen, I will always want you. In my heart, I believe we were always meant to be together.” My throat tightened. I wasn’t the type to be so free with how I felt, but for Carmilla, she was and always had been the love of my life. She needed to know. “Take all the time you need. I will wait for you forever.”

It fucking killed me to leave. Yet I closed the trap door and climbed down the ladder.

On the ground, I stared up at the tree house and imagined myself inside with her. I’d wrap her in my arms and hold her until every single doubt fled from her heart. I’d hold her until she knew only peace and love, and she couldn’t stop smiling.

I walked the neighborhood, and the one next to ours. Then I sat in our backyard where the moon and I held vigil for my beautiful Omega.

CHAPTER ELEVEN – Carmilla

It tore my soul to pieces to send Deacon away. But if I didn’t do it at that moment, I would never do it, and I couldn’t be the one who ruined his relationship with his family. No matter how much he protested it wouldn’t matter, it did.

He said he wanted to be my mate. Fuck. I hadn’t hoped… Okay, I’d more than hoped. I made wishes on falling stars.

Not long after I heard the leaves crunching as Deacon walked away, my heat gripped me again. I moaned and writhed, trying to furiously masturbate the aching need away. But now that I’d had him knot me, nothing would quell the pain except Deacon.

And I couldn’t have him.

I’d done the right thing. Family was too important.

Pain rocked my body. I cried and kicked at the trunk of the tree as if that could knock the agony free. So many times during the night, I wanted to call him. All it would take was one quick text and Deacon would make this torture go away. But if I did, I’d let him claim me. Oh to have him bite me as he knotted and make me his mate.

I refused to screw up his life to make mine easier. I would not destroy his family because I wanted Deacon as mine. Nor would I risk the best friendship of my life to replace it by a marriage that would only be empty without my bestie and his family’s love.

Never had I known misery before this. The searing pain in my body and my flowing slick that was like a pool of torment. Worse were the pangs of heartbreak. Everything he had said was like a reflection of what was in my heart.

Deacon would wait for me forever.

Fuck. There would never be anyone else for me.

Wretched anguish slashed at me from every level. Eventually I passed out and woke to my dad calling me from the yard.

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